6 days down, 4 more to go

So the doctor comfirmed today that we're gonna go through with the whole 10-day treatment for D. The good thing is they're counting the begining from Wednesday (he got his first antibiotic dose late that night after getting admitted), so we're already at day 6. We should get to go home Friday after they give him his last dose. Woot! Just a few more days.

I'm really really hoping we get to keep our room to ourselves till then. This morning a second baby moved into the room next to ours, so I guess they might be getting a bit more full. If we get a roomie that means they take away me bed and I have to sleep on the recliner chair. Boo. So we'll just keep our fingers crossed.

D slept really well last night, which I think he needed. He's seemed much better today. I swaddled him up and that seemed to help him, I also am realizing that perhaps he sometimes wakes up before he's ready and I've assumed he needed to eat then but instead could go back to sleep (he did this this morning, he woke up after napping for an hour, and after letting him suck on my pinkie for a few minutes he went back to sleep for 2 more hours). We'll see if we can keep this good napping karma up.

Susan brought a classical piano CD for babies, which is great b/c I've been wanting to find something like this. I played it for D last night, and as I listened to the concertos I realized that I recognized many of them from childhood, when my mom would play them on her grand piano. I do believe one of the reasons I love the sound of the piano so much is from listening to her play as I grew up, and it made me a bit sad that I don't play and instrument that D can remember as part of his infancy (and knowing me I probably won't take the time to learn either). Regardless, it was a nice trip down memory lane.

BTW I'd like to know who decided it would be a brilliant idea to switch the placement of the z and y keys on the keyboard. Is this another one of these American "we wanna be different" things, like not using the metric system?

Hospital stay: day 4

Zach left for Munich today. The in-laws are with D at the moment, I was on my way to hang out at Starbucks for a bit of a break and stopped by and internet cafe I'd seen earlier and was surprised to see it open on a sunday, so am taking advnatage of that for a few. Unfortunately I hadnàt thought of the whole foreign-keyboard deal. This one doesn't seem too bad except that the Y took me 5 minutes to find.

I'm finding (not surprisingly) that my mood seems to correlate with how much sleep I'm getting. And I haven't gotten much sleep today. D has seemed more fussy and high-maintenance all day, which I guess I can't fault him for... he is in the hospital getting doped up and has a huge cast thing on his arm, after all. I think I'd be grumpy, too.

So Zach gets back Thurs morning, till then Hank and Susan will be coming by to help me out. I'm trying to stay patient and calm, or as much as possible. This parenting thing is definitely the biggest challenge of my life. I have a newfound respect and awe for all mothers out there.

Let's not make a habit of this, 'kay?

Remember how I mentioned that Tuesday night D had a really hard time going to sleep?

Well... Wednesday afternoon I started noticing that he felt a bit warm. Also, his urine had a smell- a much stronger smell than normal. As in, I could smell right away when he'd went just from holding him, which is not the norm. I took his temp just to be safe, figuring it'd be nothing.

The first reading came out at about 99.5F. I took several more to be safe, using the 2 thermometers we have, and wound up with readings ranging anywhere from 99.4 to 100.3. Ugh. I called the pediatrician, they said to keep an eye on him and if his temp doesn't go down in half an hour to go to the hospital (a temp of 100.4 or higher would've been immediate trip to hosp, since he's under 3 months). Fevers in young babies like him can be a sign of serious infection, and things that can get bad fast. Anyway I continued to check his temp and continued to get mixed results, though I got one reading of 100.6 and that nailed it so off we went for D's second hospital stay in his first 2 months of life.

Based on his temp and stinky pee they thought it might be a UTI, they took a sample and did a preliminary test that indicated that this might be so but to be sure they needed to do a bacteria culture... which takes 2 days. So they started him on antibiotics just to be safe (again, need to be very proactive with little ones this young) through an IV. You should see his arm, he has this HUGE cast-like thing to keep the IV in place. It's almost humorous, esp watching how he wields that thing when he moves his arm. I've gotten whacked a couple times already.

Usually they let parents take the kid home and administer the meds at home even with an IV, but for newborns they have to keep them in the hospital. Today the culture results came back and sure enough he has e.coli in his urine, so they changed to a more specific antibiotic and told me the treatment will last SEVEN TO TEN DAYS. For which we have to stay in the hospital. Le suck. I also don't know if there will be further testing needed after finishing the treatment before letting us go home.

The silver lining is they have a great staff of nurses, and he has one assigned to him at all times. They really encourage parents to get some rest and eat well, and tonight I'm getting to sleep here at home since I left pumped milk that they'll feed him overnight. I'll be able to take time to go on a walk or just have some time away from the hospital for even an hour or 2 and leave him under their care. As much as it sucks having him there and him being sick, in a way I'm also getting a break here.

I need to find a way to call people internationally from the hospital, other than from my cell phone (which does charge the same amt to call the US as to call here in Switzerland), since I've been wanting to call people and at least get to talk to my mom but haven't had the chance yet.

Anyway, I spotted one internet cafe near the hospital when Zach and I went to get dinner last night, so I should be able to duck out every once in a while and write updates. For now the kid seems to be doing well, yesterday he was so zonked out from all the poking and prodding that he slept most of the day away, today was more difficult as he was having a much harder time going to sleep (could the caffeine in the half bottle of Coke I had at lunch be the culprit? crap).

Did I mention Zach leaves for his 5 day business trip on Sunday? Oh, and his parents also got here today.

Ok, gotta go so I can get to bed and get the most of this baby-free night deal. I don't know if I'll be able to do this again soon...

better

So yesterday went much better. He's still eating constantly, of course, but he did grant me a 2 hr nap that we took together in the morning. He also let me watch the new episode of The Hills (I know, I know, I said NO TV, but he's so young, he doesn't even notice it, right? Right?). I guess Monday I was just feeling crappy, different things coming together and making me depressed (how long postpartum can I blame hormones?).

Last night was a bit tough, D kept waking up after being asleep for about 10 minutes as we were all trying to get to bed. He seemed to have a really strong need to suck to soothe himself, but the only thing he was interested in sucking was my nipple (the pacifier and pinkie finger as suddenly SO not good enough), so in addition to the normal feeding times I spent a good 1-2 hrs just sitting with him attached to my boob as I prayed that he'd go to sleep and stay asleep. He kept passing gas, I think that's what was bugging him. Zach made this big pot of beans and rice for dinner the other day and has been complaining of a stomach ache ever since, perhaps little D has inherited his daddy's sensitive digestive system.

I'm trying to maintain perspective in those difficult moments/days. I tend to get caught up in how hard it is in that moment and feel frustrated and helpless, and I need to remember to step back and see the big picture and know that it will pass. I keep reading about how much more awesome babies get once they get past the initial 3-4 months, so I'm waiting for that landmark to come, and enjoying the smiles I get here and there during his happy-awake times.

La laitiere est ouvert 24hr/24

My days:

-1:00am- Wake up, change D's diaper, breastfeed. Usually both of us are back in bed by about an hour afterwards.
-5:00am- Wake up, change diaper, feed, sleep.
-8:00am- Wake up, change diaper, feed. Come downstairs, D usually gifts me some quiet time in his bouncy chair so I can eat breakfast. Sometimes even falls asleep in there.
-10:00am- Check diaper, feeed. D may stay up for 20 mins after, or up to an hour, then gets a bit of sleep before waking up for the next feeding. Repeat at 12:00pm, 2:00pm, 4:00pm, 6:00pm, 8:00pm.
-9:00/9:30ish- D goes to sleep. I scramble to get ready to bed, might get to sleep by 10:00pm. This usually is the beginning of his longer sleep stretch (if he has one).
-Start over again at midnight or 1:00am.

The times are not exact from day to day, but the schedule's been fairly consistent the past week or so. Basically every 2 hrs during the day, 3-4 hrs at night (sometimes 5). I'm... I'm tired. I'm also feeling frustrated, which is somewhat odd considering D and I had a pretty good day yesterday. But the frequent feedings are kinda getting to me. I also feel bad that Zach tries to help and so he'll take D between feeding so I can nap, and then I hear him crying downstairs, and so I feel bad for Zach who's getting this not-fun time with D, and I end up feeling stressed out b/c I'm listening to my baby crying.

I've really liked the idea of pumping my milk so Zach can feed D a bottle sometimes, especially on weekends, and for a a few nights the past few weekends Zach was getting up and doing one of the night feedings. Unfortunately this week I've barely been able to pump 1-1.5oz after a feeding-- normally I can get 4+oz, which is how much I need for 1 bottle. I don't know if this is a random dip in supply and it'll go back up, or if this is my supply regulating itself to D's demand and not leaving much extra. If the latter is the case, then that's really depressing b/c it means I'd have to pull out the pump 3-4 times a day just to get enough for 1 bottle, to grant me 3 hours away. I've also discovered that, even though I've read multiple sources claim that breastmilk stays good for up to 8 days in the fridge, mine apparently goes bad after about 2 days. Which makes it even harder to build up a stash for reserve (unless I freeze it right away). I actually just had to throw out a bunch of frozen milk I'd saved up b/c I realized it had probably gone bad already by the time I froze it.

And then the 3 oz I did manage to pump yesterday and today that Zach tried to feed him this afternoon, he refused. He's taken bottles fine before, so I don't know what this was, or if it will last or what.

So I'm frustrated, b/c I'm not sleeping much and I have no idea when I'll be able to get a good night's sleep again-- it could be next week, or it could be months from now. And at this point I don't even know when I'll be able to have much time away from D either, if it's gonna be this big a pain in the ass to build up some milk to leave at home with him (I'm sure feeling frustrated isn't helping my supply, either). And I know it could be worse-- he could be waking up every 2 hours to feed at night, too, and honestly he's so easy to get back to sleep at night, much easier than many other babies I've known. And THANK GOD he doesn't have colic.

But it would also be nice to get a bit more of a break here and there.

On the other hand, snow is falling right now. Not slushy snow like earlier this weekend, but nice big snowflakes, falling delicately onto the ground, and it's really beautiful.

six word sunday*: What a difference a year makes...

Last year at Easter:


This year:


six word sunday challenge (*slightly revised this week for a special double-picture edition)

VS to the Rescue

Just the other day I was thinking to myself how I kinda miss getting the Victoria's Secret catalogues in the mail all the time and looking through their stuff. And kinda wishing they carried nursing bras, but assuming they didn't.

Then yesterday I happened to see a post on thenestbaby.com about how VS now carried nursing bras. And this excited me beyond words, especially when I went to look at the selection and saw that (online at least) they look WAY better than the ones I've bought here, and less expensive.

So I express ordered a couple so they'd go to Zach's parents, who'll be flying here on Friday. I am WAY TOO EXCITED about my new bras coming in.

The things that happen when you become a mom. At least I'm not asking for a new toilet for my birthday. ; )

Snow Day!

Just last night as we were driving home Zach mentioned how we haven't really had snow here in Geneva yet this winter, and how this weekend would be a good time for it to snow since it's a long one (Friday and Monday are holidays here) and we didn't have plans to go anywhere.

Then this morning we woke up to this:

In that first pic Zach's coming back from the bakery, where he got us some croissants, a loaf of bread, and this adorable little Easter treat:



I'm looking forward to a nice cozy day indoors with my 2 boys. =)

after-party musings

Tonight Zach and I went to a birthday celebration for a friend of ours at a wine bar in Geneva. It's an intimate place with a non-smoking room (which was where we would be) so we brought D along with us (making sure to check with the birthday girl's husband, who organized everything, first to make sure that was ok). It's nice to get out with the baby, knowing that parenthood isn't necessarily a jail sentence keeping you home every night.

When we arrived I looked around at some of my girl friends who were there, dressed up in their cute outfits and makeup, and I felt a pang as I realized I'd forgotten to put lipgloss on before heading out the door. I suddenly missed Life Before Baby, when I had the time to dress up and plan my outfit and do fun makeup before an evening out, and when I could socialize around the room without feeling the need to remain in close physical proximity to my child in case he started crying... and when I could have more than a single glass of wine in an evening. I had my camera tucked into my diaper bag and I thought about getting some pictures with the girls, but I knew I felt tired which probably meant that I looked tired, and didn't necessarily want that documented in pictures.

But then, then there were the mothers with children a bit older, who immediately swooned over Donovan. Who were eager to hold him and gaze at him, and wonder how it happened that these early times with their own children went by so quickly, and I made a mental note-to-self to enjoy every minute with D now because these first 6 (almost 7!) weeks have already flown by, and I know that in the blink of an eye I'll be that mother with her nearly-grown children at a party, gazing at another overwhelmed, tired mother's newborn, wondering where that time went when my own babies were babies.

blogging catch-up

Michelle and Gerard invited us over for dinner Saturday evening. We went, and again D was great, he laid in his bassinet most of the time, seeming pretty content. I think he might really enjoy listening to the conversation, and this was all in French which must've also been interesting to him. Michelle at one point held him, and she looked so sweet holding him and was so excited (you could tell this woman must adore babies), and you could tell she was already loving this little guy. She had D look over at Gerard and said he could teach him how to play futbol, and it made me a bit sad thinking of the childhood he could have here in this village, with these people, and how neat that would be... and how it most likely won't happen. But that's one of the things we've been blessed with over and over again, multiple choices in what we want our life to be and grieving the ones we can't follow because they would all be so great.

Yesterday morning I took D in to the baby talk group. This time I used the stroller, and everything went pretty well again. He was oohed and aahed after quite a bit. =) Nathalie's office is right down the street from the group so I took him by there as well-- when I went in to see Nathalie on Monday and she'd been disappointed that I hadn't brought him along. She was so happy to see him. It must be tough for her, to help birth these babies and see them in the first days of life and then not continue to see how they grow.

The rest of the day was a bit rough. D was fussier than normal, though I have certainly noticed that my own mindset has a LOT to do with how the day feels-- many days feel tougher b/c I'm expecting to get things done while he sleeps and so if he's not able to sleep well or long or away from my arms I get more frustrated than I should. But I think yesterday was also a tough day for him... the baby talk group is great for the moms, but I have often wondered if it might be a bit much for the kids, as it often can be kinda loud and chaotic (imagine that). Today has felt much better so far, partially b/c he's taken a few good naps already which I think he really needed. He definitely is harder to deal with if he's not sleeping well. It does feel like we're having more "good" days between the "bad" days, which I maybe should not say anything about in case I jinx us, but it's good to feel the pendulum stay that way.

So Easter is upon us, and I don't know if we'll do anything special (I feel like we should, it's D's first Easter after all!) but I'm definitely looking forward to it b/c it's a long weekend-- Zach has Friday and Monday off from work, as he's taking tomorrow off as his one-day-a-week to stay home also, so WOOT! =)

bonding

I often hear of other moms who can't stand the idea of being separated from their newborns, who cry when leaving their little ones behind with even the most trustworthy babysitter, and who rush back to be by their side as soon as they can.

That is so not me.

Today I had my 6 week postpartum check-up with Nathalie. I scheduled this appointment a week or more ago, and told Zach about it so he could plan to spending the afternoon here with D so I could spend some time in town after the appointment. I had some different errands in mind to run... namely, shopping. And being by myself. And let me tell you, I have been dreaming of this day ever since.

Does that make me a bad mom?

To be completely honest, I feel like I'm still building up that bond with D. Mothers talk about this instant, all-consuming, omg-I've-never-known-love-till-I-had-my-baby type of LOVE for their child. I'm waiting for that feeling to hit me. Sure, I think he's an awesome and super adorable baby, and I feel closer, more comfortable, and fall a little more in love with him ever day. But I'm not quite there yet. Which is strange considering how much I have always loved children and the strong feelings I've developed for children I've cared for in the past. But it also is apparently totally normal for it to take a few months for parents to truly bond with their child, and I know it will come.

And maybe then I'll feel supreme anxiety at going someplace without my baby, or find it impossible to think of anything else. But now? While I adore being with him, this afternoon of freedom, well, it was glorious. =P

Blogiversary

I happened to look back at my archives and realized that my 4 year blogiversary was a couple weeks ago. I've been posting nearly daily for 4 years now... which seems like a while, until I think about the fact that I have no plans to stop anytime soon (Zach every so often will read through my old posts and will remind me how glad he is that I keep this blog as a record of our lives), and so there quite possibly will be a day when I'm celebrating my 10, or 20, or 30+ yr blogiversary. WHOA. That's a long list of archives.

six word sunday: Thinning soles led to cold toes.

six word sunday challenge

My sister Jen has had these boots for ages and adores them, however with all the use the soles have thinned out over time. She wore them on a day trip to Gruyeres when she was here in December, and the soles were too thin to shield her feet from the cold and snow so her poor toes were quite cold the whole time.

Tidings of Joy

My sister is getting married today. Or, right now. As in, she's up at the altar as I type this. She called a few minutes ago, as they were all lining up to walk down the aisle.

The other day I found myself daydreaming about hopping on a plane last-minute and surprising everyone to be there. Today I wondered if I made the right decision in staying behind, if it really would've been so bad to fly with D at this point. As much as it sucks that I can't be at my sister's wedding (where she has me listed as an honorary matron of honor on the program and everything), in the end it just wasn't going to be feasible to be there. But it does still suck.

I've been thinking about our trip back to the US this summer, and how we'd been planning to spend 1 week in Texas. Now I'm wondering if that will be nearly enough time. Usually for us it's not that big a deal-- we'll just pack in everything we want to do, and if we see people a few times over the week and catch up that's sufficient. But with little D... first of all we'll have to be slower about how much we do with him each day, and I also want to make sure the family gets to hang out with him lots, and well there's a LOT of family to do this with. And my mom and step-dad are planning a weekend trip with all the kids and that would be almost half of the week right there, leaving not much time to spend with Zach's parents, my dad, and other friends. So I'm strongly leaning towards staying for closer to 2 weeks, even if that means having to fly back here with D on my own (Zach would still only stay for 1 week, to save vacation time for other things we want to do). Flying with a 4/5-month-old can't be that bad... right?

Unless someone from Texas wants to fly back with me? =P

Notes & Pics

A few days ago D was in a pretty good mood and I figured I'd try reading him one of our children's books. I set him up on my lap in a chair, with his back on my stomach so he could look at the pictures. But as soon as I started reading he twisted his head around so he could look up at my face, and was transfixed the entire time.

That was really cool. =)

Last night we went to Jessica and Jonathan's for dinner and to show off the little guy (they hadn't met him yet). Unfortunately D had been napping and didn't wake up till right when we needed to go, and I have a strong aversion to ever waking him up if I don't absolutely have to, which meant that I didn't have time to feed him before we left... which resulted in him screaming for a lot of the car ride over. =( But then we got there and he ate and was awake and happy for most of the time there, only fussing a little bit here and there. He even let Jon hold him for a bit. =) We had a great time, and it's nice knowing that (at least in his current state of behavior, which can change at any time) he's been doing pretty well with visits from people and to places. Tomorrow night we're going to attempt dinner at the neighbors' , we'll see how that goes...

This morning I finally got D to acknowledge and be interested in looking in the mirror, and as he did Sierra looked on from above, with a mixture of disdain, confusion, and I don't know what else on her face.

It was amusing, though I also kept a very close eye in case she decided to try anything funny...

And to show Sierra a bit of love (and show that we're not ignoring her these days... at least not completely), here's some pretty pictures of her:

break

I'm almost scared to write this post b/c I don't want to jinx us, but D and I have had a great day. He's been pretty happy and calm, slept quite a bit, and only cried a few times and they were for relatively easily-fixable things, like needing a clean diaper or some help to get to sleep. I don't know how long this good mood of his will last, but I'm LOVING IT and hoping it stays at least for a few days. ; )

I even got some time today to play with some photo editing. I may one day ask for Photoshop as a birthday present, but for now Picasa seems to be doing me well:

I hear tile floors are very ergonomic

I am typing this as I sit on the floor of our bathroom. Why you ask? Well, I gave D a bath today, and then I wanted to give him some naked time and figured setting him on a towel on the bathmat on the floor of the bathroom (with the plug-in heater pointed at him, b/c he likes that) would be a good, safe place, as the tile floors make for an easy pee-spray clean-up. So we had some naked time, and then I dressed him, but he was still happy laying there on the towel so I let him. And then I went to go answer the phone, and when I came back 2 minutes later he was fast asleep.

And I dare not move him.

This morning I took him with me to the baby talk group in town. Brave, I know. Even braver? I took the bus. I put him in the sling, and he was pretty happy on the way there, just looking out the window, then dozed a bit before we got to the club, was awake and alert and mostly happy while there, ate, then we started heading back and he slept a little and only cried for a few minutes here and there.

I was so pleased that we'd had such an easy time of it, and then we got home and he turned into a friggin monster. Though I guess it was mostly my fault, for having the audacity to want to, you know, eat lunch. I swear at least half of my meals these days are eaten with him attached to me in some way, shape, or form (usually a sling), trying to get food to my mouth without dropping any on him. Sometimes I manage to succeed. Anyway, I figured a nice warm bath might calm and relax him a bit (I admit the morning may have been a tad bit overwhelming for the poor little guy), and, well, that's how we wound up napping on the bathroom floor.

By the way we had his 1 month Well Check yesterday. They claim he's only grown 1in in length since birth, which I don't quite buy (and trying to measure squirmy newborns may not be an exact science), but he's up to 4.7kg which is about 10lbs 5oz I think? So he's already gained over 2lbs since birth, and most of that in the past 3 weeks. CRAZY.

And.... he's awake. It must be time to eat.

six word sunday: A sight both rare and beautiful

six word sunday challenge


In the past 2 weeks Donovan has gone from eating every 3-4 hrs during the day and 4-5hrs at night, to eating every 2 hours during the day and maybe going 3-4 hrs at night. This whole week it seems he's hardly slept during the daytime, allowing me perhaps a 20-30 minute catnap here or there. Just today he's seemed so incredibly sleepy yet anytime I set him down he gets woken up 5-10 minutes later by something-- dirty diaper, pacifier falling out of his mouth, invisible gnomes pinching his toes...

He's now been in the sling for the past 20 minutes, eyelids looking heavy but never really closing, and even if he does fall asleep now he's only got another 30 minutes before I'm sure he'll be up again for the next feeding.

I know I shouldn't complain as he still sleeps much better during the night than many other newborns his age... I guess I just keep waiting for a nice, long, hour nap b/c he looks so tired it doesn't seem like it's gonna happen.

Rockin' Around

I've tried to use glocals.com for networking and message boards, really I have, have even tried to use it to find used baby goods, but have never been too successful. Then Melanie pointed me to English Forums and let me tell you, that site has been SO AWESOME. Just yesterday I posted asking if anyone knew a good store in Geneva to look for rocking chairs, since I have recently come to the realization that with all the times Donovan has been needing me to hold him and bounce him around for movement to stay calm, yes, a rocking chair would be an incredibly useful item to have, even if we have to pay a crapload of money for one (they're apparently unheard of over here in Europe for some reason, I've seen a few gliders sold but usually for 500chf up to 1,500chf).

Well, a response came back by a guy who's offered us his old rocking chair, for free, and is gonna meet Zach in town on Monday morning to drop it off. It seems he's more than happy to get to free up the space in his cave. Now, I don't really know what this chair looks like or what kind of condition it's in, but it's a rocking chair and it's FREE and I'll take it gladly.

milestones pt2

I think it was on Sunday that Donovan achieved a milestone that Zach's been anticipating for a while now-- his first "blowout" diaper. It actually wasn't too bad, just some poop up his back. It was impressive nonetheless. Then there was the diaper change he and I had yesterday afternoon where he went through two sets of clothes and 3 diapers (all while screaming bloody murder at me) b/c he kept peeing on stuff.

Last night Donovan went 2 5-hour stretches between feeding... unfortunately one of those stretches began after he ate at about 7:30pm, and I stayed up expecting him to eat again around 10pm as he usually does but apparently he'd decided to skip through that feeding. I finally went to bed at 11 and got 1.5 hrs of sleep before he woke me up again. I shoulda just gone to bed at 9 when I was getting sleepy. We'll see what he does tonight...

Zach and I went to a nearby mall today and he shopped for groceries while I took Donovan and shopped for belts. I did succeed in finding new belts that actually fit now, and I also found another pair of jeans, although as I went to try them on I was disappointed to find that this store didn't have a handicapped-sized dressing room (am all of a sudden wondering if this is common here in Europe? Never thought of it before) meaning none of the rooms were big enough for both me and the stroller. So instead I parked the stroller right in front of one of the rooms and changed in there, peeking out every 5 seconds to make sure no gypsies had stolen him away. As I was between changes he woke up and started crying, and it was kinda near feeding time, so I grabbed him out of his seat and sat down in the changing room to nurse-- my first time to do so while outside the house (or a friend's house). I am glad to say it went pretty well, he ate and then after a short bout of crying went back to sleep in the stroller and stayed asleep till we got home. Woot! It's great feeling more comfortable about the whole feeding-in-public thing as it gives me a LOT more freedom to go out and do things with him.

Donovan has got to be maybe a week or 2 from having control of his head and neck. Ok, so I have no idea how much longer that sort of thing takes to achieve, but he's getting better at it every day, it's pretty amazing. He does well enough so that he hardly ever slams his face down on my shoulder anymore when I'm burping him.

Oh, the places you'll go...?

For a long time Zach and I have had a bit of a back-and-forth as to where we would live long-term. I knew from the beginning that his job would often dictate our location, since job positions for him are more limited geographically and, well, part of the beauty of teaching (or staying at home with the kiddoes) is that you can do that pretty much anywhere. After graduating college we moved to California, and for Zach I think in many ways for him he was moving away and never looking back. Sure, we'd visit often b/c our families were there, and yes Austin was a great place and it'd be fun to visit, but he'd already lived there his whole life, he was ready for new places, new adventures, and besides summers is Texas are miserable and there's no good mountains anywhere nearby.

Me? I missed Austin immediately when we left. It took me a while to feel like California was home. We sometimes talked in hypotheticals about eventually going back to Texas, and Zach would humor me, conceding that perhaps when we had kids we could move back so we'd be close to family.

Eventually I settled into life in California, and grew to love it. We had great friends, we had routines, we developed new places to become attached to. I began to see how we could stay there long-term, really settle down there, and what a great life it was and could be. The idea of going back to Texas eventually was put on the backburner. And then, of course, the Swiss opportunity came up, and we jumped at the chance. And I knew being pregnant so far away from family and friends would be hard in many ways, but with the advent of digital cameras and computers and IM, etc, staying in touch didn't seem so difficult, and besides once back in the states it's only a 3 hr flight from California to Texas.

And so I haven't even really thought about this dilemma in a long time, until this morning when Mom and Zach were getting ready to leave for the airport and Mom was saying good-bye to me, and she had tears in her eyes and suddenly so did I and I hit by the realization of what a shame it is that it will be June before she gets to see Donovan again, that he will already be nearly 5 months old before any of the other family in Texas even gets to meet him, and what Donovan would also be missing out on by not being able to see all these great people, who already love him so much, on a regular basis.

I have no idea where we'll end up, really. Our plans right now have the equivalent certainty of scribblings on a cocktail napkin. But holy crap do I suddenly feel that pull to go back home, to be able to pop into Grandma and Grampa's (both sets of them) house on weekends or even for dinner on random weekdays, to see his Abuelito on a regular enough basis that he can help me teach Donovan Spanish, to be around for family birthdays and gatherings and Sunday afternoon impromptu bbq's. To be able to have his family watch him grow up in person, not just in pictures or video.

adieu, chere grand-mere

This morning Mom and I (and Donovan) went to the house across the way for coffee with the woman that lives there (and shares the house with her daughter, who has a 2 and a 4 yr old). Mom's been doing great with practicing her French, and I'm glad to be meeting more people from the village (funny how a baby is such a people attractor). Afterwards Hillary, Melanie, and Sophia came over to meet Donovan and hung out with us for a couple hours. Donovan was great through both of these meetings, pretty much dozing through them and only getting fussy towards the end of the time with the girls here.

This afternoon Mom took him out on a stroller ride and as they were out it started snowing! It was only for a few minutes, apparently, and by the time they got back home the sun was out again. But yeah, Donovan has been out in his first snowfall already. =P

Mom leaves tomorrow morning. It's gonna be so strange not having her around every day now. I'm so glad she stayed this long, as I'm now feeling much more comfortable and confident about having the little guy all to myself during the day. And that's even taking into account the fact that he's been waking up to feed every 3 hours at night the past couple nights. I don't know if he still has more growth-spurting left to do or if his body's playing catch-up, but he's been eating like a maniac lately. He used to eat every 3 or even 4 hours during the day, getting in about 7 feedings per day, and lately it's been more like every 2 hours, sometimes even 1.5, and I think yesterday he fed 9 times. But his "schedule" changes so often that I know better than to expect this to last very long.

But yeah, Donovan and I will greatly miss Grandma and all her help... and her cooking, and washing the dishes, and baking cookies, and bringing me snacks when I'm nursing, and, um, you get the picture. We're so gonna have to book her to come out again whenever we have baby # 2.


(btw grandma crocheted that yellow blanket for him while I was pregnant. She's working on an aqua-colored one just like it at the moment)

What a difference a month makes

Here's Donovan at 3 days old:

(The picture doesn't show this very well, but the legs were so long on this outfit that they swallowed up his feet completely)

Here's Donovan in the same outfit today, at 1 month old:

He's gotten so long, it's actually a bit difficult to close the snaps at the crotch, and when he stretches his legs out the cuffs start to come up above his socks. Holy cow, this kid's growing!

Sunday Walk, Shopping, Date Night

Today was another absolutely gorgeous and warm sunny day, so Zach strapped Donovan into the sling and he, Mom, and I went for a walk out near the village. I don't know where this weather's coming from or how long it'll last (I expect more cold, rain, and possibly snow to show before spring really arrives, but we'll see) but I'm loving it, especially since it means we can take Donovan out on walks nearly every day. I'm hoping this will help get me lose the baby weight over time. ; )

Earlier in the week I attempted a dangerous mission-- I started pulling out pre-pregnancy clothes that I could start wearing again, mostly tops, and I decided to try on my old jeans. I was actually able to get them up over my hips, but there was no hope of getting anywhere close to zipped or buttoned up. So then on Thursday, after meeting the girls for lunch, I attempted another very risky mission-- jeans shopping. Amazingly, this went fairly well. I didn't have much time before needing to get back home to Donovan, but in about 20-30 minutes' time I was able to figure out what size I was and actually find a pair of jeans that fit me fairly well (H&M jeans seem to suit me, amazingly, I think this was one of the easiest jeans shopping experiences I've ever had). The only problem is they need a belt b/c they're kinda low and gape a bit at the back, but when I tried on one of my old belts, well, it don't fit no more either. So I guess I'll have to make another shopping expedition soon. I actually don't really mind wearing my maternity jeans that much, and in fact after wearing nice stretchy pants for so many months putting on regular jeans again was kinda weird (not to mention how weird it was to have to remember to unbutton and unzip my pants before I could take them off to go to the bathroom, for example), but it's also nice to have regular jeans to wear from time to time and not worry about the big elastic maternity band showing.

Last night Zach and I had a date night. =) Mom leaves on Wednesday, and I figured we needed to take this last chance since I don't know when we'll have any sort of reliable baby-sitting services mapped out (not to mention that Grandma works for free). So we got (slightly) dressed up and went into town and ate at the Brasserie Lipp. We haven't gotten to spend much quality time together, so it was great to have a whole dinner of just the 2 of us.

six word sunday: "I'll share, but I'm not happy."

six word sunday challenge