Most of the time I'm so happy to be back here in California. I love living here. I love the glorious weather and sunshine that graces us 80% of the year. I love the friends we have here, and planning playdates with them and their babies who are all within a year of Donovan in age. I love calling my sister or mom without having to think about what time it is there and if I'm within that short window of time during which it's reasonable and appropriate to call. I don't doubt or regret our decision to move back.
Donovan playing in the dirt here at home.
But then there's moments like two days ago: sitting on our front step watching D play in our enclosed patio. A patio that I suddenly realized was very similar to the one in our house in Switzerland. And I started to think about what it'd be like if we still lived there, picturing D playing just outside that house instead of this one. I thought of how fascinated he would probably be by the frequent buses and horses that passed by just outside our front gate. He'd play with the plants and the dirt there, and likely play with the slugs that always came out when it rained. Geneva got tons of snow this winter, so we would have barely needed to step outside our front door for him to experience it firsthand. There was a playground at the school down the street. It was right across from the horse stables. I probably would take D to that playscape most sunny days. We would go walking along the trails, and probably go visit Michelle and Gerard often-- who would probably teach D quite a bit of French.
Our patio in Switzerland, in the spring and below after a snowfall.
I think of these things, and of course miss them all. It'd be nice to live parallel lives sometimes, get the benefits of both worlds. But, that's not possible, and here we are, and again I am very happy with the choices we've made. My mom and step-dad are flying in tomorrow for the weekend, a trip planned just a few weeks ago thanks to cheap airfare. Jenny will be joining us for the weekend, coming down from the city. This is exactly why we moved back, to be closer to these people and make it easier for all of us to get together. And the life we had in Switzerland was "fake" in many ways-- we could have never afforded that house had we not had a healthy expat package. Still, it'd be impossible not to miss that life sometimes.
I can relate to those feelings and often look back on the places we have lived and wondered, what if.. we had stayed there, how would life be different? But then I remind myself to remember all of the reasons that brought us to where we are now. Hopefully one day you will be able to take him there to visit and share with him all the wonderful stories of your past. :)
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel, as we are getting ready to move to yet another country I'm think back on all the places we have lived already. It's a very different life than the way I grew up (in one city, for the whole 17 years) but its great in its own way!
ReplyDeleteI think it's the visits back that you cherish the most. But I love your photo comparisons.
ReplyDeleteI've only been able to go back twice as I hit my milestone of 1800 days today since I left.
It's hard and amazing to see how fast time flies and things change. I think it's much easier when you enjoy and get used to the new things at your new home, which I finally have a bit more, but it's taken me nearly 4 years, much longer than most...
I was hoping my parents saw this closeness but they have yet to take a flight up to visit. Sometimes things never change I suppose.
Snow is horribly overrated.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you want D to see horses, bring him to Texas. I'll find him some horses.