Zach got up with Donovan this morning, allowing me to sleep in till 8:30am. Apparently D woke up shortly at 3am, and then at 7am, I must have really been tired as I completely slept through both wakings. And the sleep seems to have done me well, as I felt so much better this morning. Maybe part of that is that I'd already made up my mind to spend a few hours today away from the house, focusing on me. I'm learning that I need to plan ahead for these things, to set specific plans and follow through on them because otherwise life just has a way of running away with the days and weekends.
So Zach and D left to go hiking, and I went to Borders to hang out at the coffee shop and catch up on gossip, and read some photography books. I grabbed a copy of Bryan Peterson's Learning to See Creatively and read through the first few chapters while sipping my vanilla latte. I've been in this odd rut in photography where I'll see these beautiful, striking images by others that inspire me, but then feel like I lack the time and energy to improve my own skills. I read the advice to take your camera everywhere with you, and I am so jealous of those who can. I know in theory I could, too, but it's tough to manage taking a heavy camera when I already lug so much kid stuff, and the added challenge of trying to find subjects to shoot, then think through the proper settings and interesting compositions while simultaneously trying to keep track of an active toddler is enough to make my head spin. And, of course, at the top of all this is the challenge of trying to fight that self-consciousness that comes with being out in public wielding a fancy camera and feeling intimidated and like a poser rather than A Photographer.
So I'm thinking I need to start planning for photography outings-- devoting particular outings to just going someplace and taking pictures, practicing and playing. That will help give me a subject to shoot other than Donovan (he's super adorable, I know, but I fear that I and a few other family members are the only ones interested in seeing the hundreds of pictures I take of him), help me get over the self-conciousness, and give me a creative outlet and something to do that is separate from Being a Mom.