Paring Down

One of the things I'm realizing is that how I feel on any particular day, is often tied to how I look. And most mornings I hardly even make the effort to wash my face well b/c I wake up when D does. Since D's kinda sorta settled into a routine of waking up between 6-7am, this past week I've started setting an alarm for 5:45 so I can have enough time to take a quick shower and maybe get dressed before he wakes. It worked pretty well the first couple days... of course he then woke up at 5:30 yesterday, and 4:30 this morning, and didn't go back to sleep either day (my theory is he's jealous of my alarm clock being the one to wake me up in the morning, and feels he's being cheated of his duty). I'm hoping he'll sleep in a bit longer tonight/tomorrow morning, we'll see.

I'm also trying to go through the things I (try to) do throughout the day, and figuring out what things I do that actually make me happy vs what... doesn't. I've sorted through some of the blogs on my google reader, for example, keeping the ones that I really enjoy reading (friends, blogs that make me laugh with every entry...) and sorting out the ones that tend to pile up and when I do read them I do so in a rush. I'm also quitting the 365 project for this year. I love the photos I've taken for it so far, and I definitely want to keep up the spirit of trying to take pictures often and taking the time to be creative in that manner and improve my skills, but I also don't want photography to feel like a chore or an obligation. It kinda sucks to let go of certain things and admit that I just don't have the time or energy to handle them, but then I remember that spending my days raising a person and trying to instill in him values, confidence, etc, is kind of a big deal and probably should take up most of my time and abilities. And whatever I have left over, should be given to things that make me happy. Like blogging. =)

In a sort-of aside, this morning I was listening to NPR in the car and they told the story of a little boy who nurses had noticed hadn't been coming in for check-ups. They finally got a hold of his parents and, by force of law, got them to bring him in. He was 18 months old, and weighed as much as a 6 month old and couldn't even sit up on his own. He was put in foster care for a year due to the gross neglect by his parents. A story like that would have certainly made me sad, and very very angry over a year ago. But now as a mother, I was surprised at the force of my reaction. Tears sprang to my eyes, and my heart hurt. It was my first experience like this since D was born. It truly is amazing how many ways becoming a parent changes you, how differently you see the world and how any other child's pain, you feel as if it were your own.