This morning... sucked. It just sucked. I keep thinking Mondays should go smoothly since I've just had the nice weekend and should have refilled my stores of patience and love and all that crap, but in reality they seem to not be much fun.
It all started out last night when I made an effort to get to bed at a decent hour, and praised myself for making sure I got 8 hrs of sleep. And then I laid in bed, awake, unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep for a good hour or more. And then D woke up around 11:30 and I had to go soothe him (didn't take long, but getting out of bed is enough). So there goes my good night of sleep. Then D woke up this morning (6am, as usual!) and I wasn't ready at all for it, and apparently neither was he as he started whining almost right away. *Sigh* We spent 2 hours playing at the park, which helped, and then went and played with his friend down the street, but there was still a good bit of whining on his part, and frustration and even some yelling on mine. I'm not proud of how I handled this morning.
Then D took a nap, and because I was so dead tired myself I took one, too, only to then wake up still feeling tired and groggy. And then I kinda had a mini breakdown, because it's kinda ridiculous just how exhausted I am. I feel bad complaining about this as I have friends with newborn who are still waking up several times a night and I do remember that level of sheer utter exhaustion still, and THANK GOD we're past that because it is debilitating. But I expected that once D started sleeping through the night I'd get my energy back, and sometimes I do but so much of the time I'm still just so damn tired and it seems like there's nothing I can do to fix or change that-- even if I try to get to bed early enough, I either have trouble sleeping (so cruel, seriously), or D wakes up, or just the sheer criminality of having to get up at 6am every.single.day does it. And there's just no end in sight, which is what's so depressing about it all.
So, um, yeah, that all sucked.
But then it got better in the afternoon. D and I went to the YMCA to swim in the pool, and he has such a blast. He kept making funny faces when he splashed the water (and it'd splash him in the face), and then he kept getting out of the pool, walking around to the steps, walking down the steps into the water, then climbing back out the side, over and over again. And I had to laugh at how cute he was being, and that helped everything feel a lot better. Zach then came home a little bit early from work and we went walking around the block, and it is really impressive how far Donovan can walk if you just let him lead (and that's after getting tired out swimming earlier, too). Now Zach's getting him off to bed, giving me time to blog and maybe, possibly, catch up on some of the pictures I'm so behind on (another recent frustration-- now that D only takes a single, 1hr nap, my daytime free time has dropped significantly and I'm really feeling it). I'm crossing my fingers things go better overall tomorrow.