Tuesday, December 09, 2008
D and I set out to run some errands this morning-- needed to return a stack of library books and send some packages off in the mail (like a stack of home appliance user manuals that got packed up with our stuff but should've stayed at the house in Switzerland...). Luckily both of these could be accomplished on foot, so we took off in the stroller and took advantage of the sunny, if chilly, day.
Afterwards D seemed to be in good spirits, to we headed over to a nearby coffee shop where I got a hot chocolate and bagel. It wasn't till I took the first bite of my freshly-toasted-and-cream-cheesed bagel that I realized how long it's been since I've had one, and just how much I love them. As I sat there enjoying my hot chocolate and sharing my bagel with D, it hit me how great my life is, and how happy I am to get to spend my days with this little guy. There were times in the first months where I wondered if I was really cut out for being a stay-at-home mom. And while it certainly isn't all fun and games, I also really do love it. It can be so frustrating when he's being super-whiny, or when he won't eat, etc... but most of the time he is such a joy to be around. I spend a decent amount of my days just watching him as he plays, watching all the various expressions that cross his face as he explores a toy or book, just in total awe of him. I'm not trying to make any statements about whether mothers should or shouldn't stay home with their kids-- the right situation there varies by family and life situation, and I make no judgements about what others do and decide works best for their families. But I realize how lucky I am to be able to make this decision to begin with, and while for the most part I've always known this was the right thing to do for us, after all the turmoil of the past 10 months and adjusting to motherhood, it feels so good to really feel settled in this. To really KNOW that this is where I am meant to be and what I am meant to be doing, and that I would rather be here and doing this than anything else. (at least most if the time, anyway... ; )