My brain feels like mush right now. I sit down to try to write something cohesive, and it just...doesn't ...work. So, instead, you get brain drivel.
I'll be 33 weeks this Saturday... which is starting to freak me out a bit, because 33 weeks means there's only 4 weeks left till I'm officially "full term," and while I don't expect to go into labor right at 37 weeks I do figure it'll probably be relatively soon after that (D came right on time, and although there's absolutely no reason or evidence to think this I'm kinda expecting to give birth around 39/40 weeks this time... though it could easily go longer than that, and yes I do realize that my 42 week mark is Christmas Day itself).
So for a while now I've kept thinking, "Oh, we still have a ways before baby comes..." And suddenly I'm realizing, NO, it's actually getting kinda close, and while that's exciting and all it's also a wee bit scary.
Little by little, though, we're all getting prepared. We have more itty bitty baby clothes than we'll know what to do with. My newborn cloth diaper stash is all set (just need to buy a few disposables in case they're needed). I'll see my midwives on Monday, and I bet we'll start talking about what supplies I'll need to gather up for the birth. Even D seems pretty excited about the whole thing-- he loves talking about his baby brother who's growing in my belly, and often says that once his brother is born he'll share his toys with the baby. Today we were able to talk to my mom, sister, and her 1 week old baby, and D seemed totally into watching his teensy cousin-- he even threw a fit when we had to hang up, because he wanted to keep watching them on the screen! I'm sure it'll still be tough adjusting to having to share Mommy, but he does seem to understand a lot of what's going on.
I keep walking around our house and thinking, "This is where our baby will be born." It's a pretty neat feeling. =) In some ways I'm a bit apprehensive about what's ahead-- I'm remembering the not-fun aspects of labor & birth, and I'm certainly not looking forward to the sleepless nights ahead or the challenge of trying to meet two children's different needs. At the same time, despite the anticipated pain, I'm actually looking forward to giving birth, to having a little baby to snuggle, to breastfeeding again, and all of it. Everything is about to change so much, so quickly, so constantly, I'm trying to remember to stop and savor the Now-- life as it is now for the 3 of us, the anticipation and excitement over things to come, etc-- while I still can.