It's been a rough week over here. Allow me to vent for a moment.
I'm thinking perhaps Vince Colt (Zach's nickname for the baby, in honor of Vince Young and Colt McCoy) is going through a growth spurt or something, because I am 1) completely zapped on energy, 2) my belly feels stretched to the max and just plain uncomfortable (this might be Braxton-Hicks contractions starting up, too), and 3) my lower back is aching more constantly. I like the growth-spurt theory because if that's the case, it's temporary and I can hope that in another day or 2 I'll get a bit of energy back and feel better. This cannot be third-trimester fatigue coming on early, because I don't think I can take 3 months of feeling like this. Either way, my stores of energy, understanding, and patience are quite low.
Combine that then with D, who has also been acting out. Mercifully, he's spent a lot of the past week playing on his own, giving me a break here and there. He has also spent a lot of the time being your typical, textbook-difficult two-year-old. Every other suggestion out of my mouth is met with an angry, "NO!" Even for things I know he wants to do. Every single mention of "Let's change your diaper" is met with that same NO!, or just a loud screech and him running away. Usually he's happy to walk upstairs to his room on his own, but this whole week I've had to carry him, using trial-and-error to find ways to hold him so his knees won't hit my sensitive, always-in-the-way belly. The times I do lose my cool and raise my voice, he responds with "Don't talk that way!" or "No, you don't do that, Mommy!" Understandable, but infuriating. Oh, and the past 2 days his naps have been a measly 30-45 minutes long.
I'm exhausted. I just want to curl up and take a long, long nap.
The good news: through a stroke of fabulous, wonderful luck, we've been getting to know a couple who live close by and have a little boy just under 2 years of age. They use a nanny with him 2 days a week, and the mom offered to share her if I wanted. We've been wanting D to start preschool somewhere (both for his and my benefit) but for several reasons that probably won't happen till spring at the earliest, so I jumped at this chance. Starting next week D will go to their house 2 morning a week and get to play with new toys and a new playmate. I will get to do chores, run errands, or just laze about and enjoy the calm and quiet.... and, in a few months, get some one-on-one time with my newborn.
So, that's exciting. It's a relief just knowing that I'll get a bit more time to myself soon. I know I've been needing it... and D will probably benefit from spending some time with people other than his tired, grouchy mama. ; )
I'm holding out hope for a better week next week...