Thursday, August 22, 2013

just keep swimming...


At the beginning of the summer I printed out these calendar pages for us to mark off the days that Zach was away (they're far from Pinterest-worthy, but hey I never claimed to be crafty). I remember putting it up on the wall for the first time and feeling kinda depressed because laid out in all those blank squares across three whole pages, it looked like a really, really fucking long time. 

Zach has now been gone about 9.5 weeks, with 11 days left to go (...we're a couple days behind on our stickers). Looking back... no, it hasn't gone by quickly. I mean, it's passed, but it feels like it's been a really long time since Zach left to start his internship. Don't get me wrong, a lot of this summer has been fun and awesome. Just today the boys and I went to a nearby lake with friends and had a great time throwing playing in the sand and water and just enjoying a gorgeous day out. But the summer has also been really long, and I'm tired, and it feels like my body is made of lead and my brain made of mush. And I kinda feel bad for complaining, I keep thinking of military families who go through long deployments, or all the single parents for whom my ZOMG SO DIFFICULT solo-parenting summer is just...everyday life. And then I feel like a wuss. But, that's where I'm at right now. Zach will be home in 11 days, and we'll make it and it'll be fine, but I kinda feel like I'm coasting into the gas station running on just the hint of fumes.

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