A few weeks ago one sunny Sunday afternoon in Ft Worth, Texas, I was walking back to my hotel after the second day of lectures had let out, enjoying the sunshine and pondering life and serendipity.
So many things in my life have felt serendipitous. I don't know if that's simply optimism, or a lot of luck, or both, but it really does feel that way. For example, the location for the Montessori Refresher, in the same metroplex where my sister lived allowing me to visit with her, my adorable nephew, my brother-in-law, and finally meet his mother (I was headed back to my hotel to meet up with my sister for dinner that night).
There are other things, too, big and small. Zach was so disappointed to get rejected from MIT for undergrad, but him being at UT (and me in San Marcos) allowed our relationship to continue to grow through college. Later on, just as we were about to announce a move to Chile, his boss handed him an opportunity to move to Switzerland, instead (with an actual paycheck!). I think it goes unsaid how well that turned out for us, with many great memories and friends made along the way. And while the job that brought us here to Sacramento may have been a bit of a bust (to put it mildly), everything else about living here -- our neighborhood, the friends we've made, D's school -- has been so amazingly wonderful. I feel so much gratitude about how well all these things have turned out, scary decisions and experiences that brought us so much good in the end.
As I walked that afternoon and pondered all of this, I then looked towards the future. We have this Very Big And Scary Thing ahead of us. In a few short months we'll pack up all our stuff and move across the country to a place where we know no one. Moving alone is scary, but the financial risk of Zach going to business school is what really ties my stomach up in knots. We've been lucky over the years with Zach getting a healthy salary and decent bonuses, and we've been diligent about saving a lot of that. Our "nest egg" has been a great comfort to us the past few years-- even as Zach left his previous job in Silicon Valley and searched for a new one, we knew that even if it took several months we'd be ok because of our savings. But now we're about to sink those into business school and take on some debt, too, most likely, and that is a very, very scary thought. We're taking that safety net out from under us and folding it aside as we then go climb up to the tightrope. I'll be honest, it's easily my biggest apprehension about business school.
Looking back at our luck so far, part of me thinks that at some point it'll run out. We can't keep having all these good things happen to us forever, can we? The optimist in me, however, has faith. So far, each time we've taken a leap of faith, it has led to good things. This leap feels particularly huge, and I worry about where it will lead. But, I'm choosing (or trying, anyway) to believe that this very big leap of faith will also work out, and in the end lead to good things for us as a family.