Sunday, March 20, 2011

weekend recap

That last post is laughing at me now.

Zach and I spent the weekend in a blur. Me nursing and rocking Quinn in frequently-unsuccessful attempts to get him to sleep (or, more accurately, to stay asleep once I set him down), Zach caring for Donovan and trying to tackle neglected household chores like washing the dishes and running the vacuum. Occasionally we'd "take a break" by switching kids. I did manage to set up Quinn's bedroom, mainly rearranging existing furniture and moving a few items in and out of the room. A task that probably only took about 30mins-1hr of combined time, but when attempted in stolen fragments of 5-10 available minutes here and there ends up taking the full weekend to complete. It feels like we're working full-tilt just to accomplish the most basic of daily tasks. It didn't help any of our moods, either, that it rained all weekend long, and that the forecast calls for more rain all through this coming week.

I know it will get better. The weather will improve, Quinn will become more enjoyable and self-entertaining, and taking care of two kids at once will become (I hope) more about playing with both kids together as opposed to constantly evaluating whose competing needs need to be met first. But for now....it kinda feels like we're just treading water sometimes.

(And of course I feel like an ass for bitching about this stuff while people in Japan worry for their lives and mourn the loss of all their possessions not to mention loved ones; as the Middle East revolts against their oppressive dictators; while many women would do anything to have two beautiful, healthy children to complain about. I struggle between trying to maintain perspective, and giving myself permission to acknowledge the frustration and exhaustion that I feel as a parent.)

6 comments:

  1. It's the 4 month Regression. Quinn is switching from the Newborn Sleep to Older Baby Sleep. Which means that his body is no longer just taking over and shutting him down and he needs to learn how to go to sleep on his own (or with your help, if that is your parenting style).

    This, too, shall pass.

    But I way offer one piece of advice: SleepEasy Solution. That book SAVED MY LIFE. And no, I am not being dramatic for effect. It really did keep me sane.

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  2. I had a very good experience using some of the basic principles in the "90-Minute Sleep Solution for Babies" - I didn't use the CIO portions of the book, but the basic idea that babies enter and leave sleep cycles, even when awake, in 90 minute intervals, helped me pin point the times that were best for trying to put Abbey down for a nap or for the night - and that took a lot of stress away from the situation. Best wishes with everything! And remember that, yes, parental frustrations ARE valid, and that we are happy to support you when you feel stretched thin, no matter what else is going on in the world! :)

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  3. That someone has it worse than you does not mean that what you're going through is not bad. Or royally sucky.

    Even when there aren't earthquakes, tsunamis, and murdering dictators, there is still pain and suffering everywhere. Motherhood is still hard, especially when you don't have much help around and don't get breaks.

    *hugs*

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  4. I like Gretchen's comment. Don't have advise but I do hope it passes quickly.. And it's great learning for us too!

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  5. You mention annoyance that a 30-minute task took all weekend... I often have the same experience. The way I manage to stay positive is to remind myself that I accomplished this task WHILE CARING FOR A TODDLER AND AN INFANT. Which makes me TOTALLY AWESOME. And then I tell Brian about how totally awesome I am. AND HE AGREES, reaffirming my awesomeness.

    Ok but in seriousness... caring for two kids is an accomplishment in and of itself. I would go so far as to say that it is a far more important accomplishment than whatever 30-minute task you are trying to get done. So YAY to you for being a great mom and for prioritizing your kids over other less important activities! That's the stuff great moms are made of. Truly.

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  6. found my way to you through a link somewhere... Sew LIberated, maybe? Anywho~ I've got only one babe, but sleep has been our biggest struggle since she hit 4 months and decided sleep was for suckers.... she's 14 months now and it's only gotten slightly better. (though we do cosleep and I am still night nursing, so I am aware that my decisions have contributed to this immensely ;) I read several baby sleep books, tried lots of different things, and she just is who she is. Don't feel bad for feeling what you feel when you feel it- that's all we can do. Ruth Reichl wrote a recent post on her blog called "Why Food Matters", about our moral obligation to appreciate what we have, and how that is what we can do in times of great suffering and devastation. Beating yourself up serves no one. Chin up, in less time than you think you'll be telling other new moms of 2 how you got through it and how it went by so fast (in retrospect... of course while you're in it it feels like FOREVER) cheers!

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