Friday, January 07, 2011

I miss predictability

Life is... busy.

I just went back and read some of my posts from when D was Q's age.  It helped a bit.  It's been a trying week, as predicted.  Q thankfully doesn't ever seem to cry for too long a period at a time, but he does cry often.  The past several days he's taken one nap a day that's 1-2hrs, sleeping on a surface other than me, otherwise he either sleeps for very short periods of time (10-20mins) or while being worn.  I don't necessarily mind wearing him, but it does make certain things harder to do-- like changing D's diaper, for example.  And sometimes Q needs constant motion in order to stay happy while being worn, which also makes it hard to do anything else 9though my thighs are definitely getting a workout from all the dancing/squatting!).  During his "awake and alert" time, he seems to stay content for a few minutes before needing something to change.  I'm feeling at a bit of a loss lately, as at first he slept most of the time and now he's awake more and needing to be entertained/occupied, and I don't always know what to... do... with him.  We're accumulating all sorts of baby gear already-- I discovered the other day that he seems to enjoy the vibrating feature on his bouncy chair (has given me my 5 mins for breakfast the past couple days!), and we're looking into getting a baby swing since he seems to find that motion soothing.  It's just nice to have some options for places to set him down, even just for a few minutes.

We are figuring our way out, slowly but surely.  Getting out of the house seems to help a lot, as it gives us all something to do and a way to pass the time.  Yesterday we went to a playgroup meet-up, Q slept most of the time and D had a ball playing with the toy cars at this boy's home.  Then we got back home, at lunch/nap time and both kids had meltdowns-- I'd been waiting for this to happen.  Thankfully it went well, and I was even amazed at D who had been pleading with me to come lay down with him, but then told me I should "make Quinn happy" first and was ok waiting for me (my heart melted right there).

I've been focusing on just spending time with the kids and letting go of other chores/tasks, but that's also tough to maintain since at some point other chores need to get done (it's all well and good to say "ignore the laundry and dirty dishes" but at some point you need clean plates and underwear).  So I'm trying to find that balance, between trying to get things done and also relaxing/resting when I get the chance.  I am very, very grateful for my ipod touch, since at least that lets me keep up with the internet while Q's nursing or sleeping on me.  Right now he's feeding about every 1-2hrs during the day, sometimes more often, occasionally throwing in a 3hr break if he happens to take a long nap.  Nights are hard to tell-- Monday he slept in 1-2hr stretches, Tuesday and Wednesday it was more consistent 2hrs, last night he slept two 3hr stretches... and then hardly slept at all between 3-6am.  He *may* be developing a routine of "settling down for the night" (after some cluster-feeding) sometime between 7-9pm, then being mostly up after his 5-7am feeding... but if there's one thing I know about babies it's that "routine" is temporary and subject to change at any time.

So.  It's been a bit tough, but also much better than it could be.  I am patiently awaiting the time when things get a bit more predictable... we'll see when that happens.  I remember reading about how most babies settle into 3 predictable daily naps by about 3-4  months old, which D didn't do till close to 1yr of age (up till then, he'd take between 4-6 20-40min cat-naps throughout the day).  I'm curious to see what Q does...


  1. Ah yes. Sounds like a week full of One of Those Days.

    When I'm having One of Those Days, I sometimes get really angry at Fred for failing to call and tell me he is going to be late home from work. Then I look at the clock and's only 3:30 pm. And I still have 2-3 hours to go before the Cavalry arrives!

    But those days will happen less and less as they both get older!

  2. Life is busy, because you don't have time to do any of those things you "are supposed to be doing" (dishes, laundry, email, responding to blog comments, etc.), but you spend your whole day not DOING anything... you were just tending to baby, which means "find a way to make him NOT cry." The feeling of uselessness, even though you ARE doing what you're "supposed" to be doing, takes its toll on you (adding to depression/baby blues/whatever you want to call it).

    As much as I hate leaving RJ to go to work, I do have to appreciate the break it gives me -- I get to own my body again for those 8+ hours. I can go to the bathroom when I need to (instead of hoping he'll be happy in the swing until I get back), I can get something to eat when I'm hungry, get up to refill my water bottle when I'm thirsty, and I can finish one thought/task without being interrupted by Cranky Baby.

    The other thing that makes the first two(ish) months hard is that the baby doesn't seem to react much... you know he's "happy" when he's not telling you you're doing something wrong. Now that RJ smiles, even when I'm super frustrated and tired and cranky, he smiles at me, and it all goes away. He's happy -- actually happy, not just happy-because-he's-not-crying -- and it makes it worth it.

    And you're doing it all with a D around, who does offer you some #heartmelt moments, but also adds so many other layers of stress/demand/"I should be..."s/etc.

    Wish I could help out in some way! Wish I could teleport over there, take D for a while, give you a break(ish)... Plus, you know, we worry about y'all, with California ready to fall into the ocean at any moment now... :P




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