With Zach gone for the first half of this week, I wanted to make sure we got out of the house plenty to give D and I both a change of scenery and plenty of distraction. I'm suddenly now looking at our week and wondering how it got quite so busy already...
Today's not bad. We went to the YMCA and tried out the Kids Corner option again. D screamed and cried for a while, but eventually let me leave to do a micro-workout (as I kept one eye on the cardio room door just waiting for them to come back and tell me D wasn't calming down... thankfully, he did). He's now taking an uncharacteristically long nap (1.5hrs and still going!), and then this afternoon my friend Julia graciously offered to watch D for a little while so I'll try to run a few kiddo-free errands while I can.
Then between tomorrow and Thursday I have 3 appointments to check out home daycares nearby as potential drop-in options for D. Someone left a comment suggesting it in a previous post, and I hadn't thought of it before but thought would be a good thing to check out. There's one whose sign I've passed many times in this same neighborhood, plus two others I found through Care.com, so will go check those out. There's a bit of the usual apprehension about leaving him in another person's house, but if I like the caretakers and their homes and feel comfortable with them, this seems almost an ideal solution-- I think D would benefit from a bit of social interaction with a few other kids, and a different (aka NEW) space with a different (again, NEW) set of toys would probably also go over well. But, it also has to be a place in which HE feels comfortable... I'm realizing as I try out this gym care thing out, that getting him used to a new place (and being w/out mommy) might be more challenging that I initially thought (and also makes me think we really need to do this, so he's not permanently attached to me all the time).
Zach and Mom arrive on Wednesday afternoon (at almost the exact same time, too), and then in the evening I'm going to an open house for a Spanish-immersion preschool that might be a possible option for D starting in the Fall. I'm also going to an informal lunch at noon, on a topic about which I'm pretty excited, but D just got up so I'll have to leave that for another post...
"I'm realizing as I try out this gym care thing out, that getting him used to a new place (and being w/out mommy) might be more challenging that I initially thought (and also makes me think we really need to do this, so he's not permanently attached to me all the time)."
ReplyDeleteWith most kids, the issue of being left is being left *with strangers* (or at least, strangers in their eyes, aka they don't feel like they know them well enough to be left alone with them). Donovan is fine when you leave him with family members or close friends, people that he is comfortable with. But at the gym, he is not with anyone he knows, so he feels abandoned (even though he obviously isn't). So I wouldn't worry that he will never be able to be left without you. It sounds like he has a healthy mentality about being left: he wants to know that he is being left with someone he trusts. As you take him back to the gym more often, he'll become more familiar with the staff there (assuming they don't have high turnover) and will eventually become comfortable with being left there. (Unless something is wrong or there is something else going on. But an initial reluctance of children to be left in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people is completely normal. It's even a behavior that is selected for, evolutionarily.)
i'm glad you're able to get a break while zach is gone!
ReplyDeleteI know you know this since you also worked in daycare (longer than I did, if I recall correctly), but I'm taking the liberty to remind you.
ReplyDeleteKids like to make a BIG SHOW for Mom/Dad about being left alone. Most kids, as soon as the parent is out the door, COMPLETELY FORGET about Mom/Dad and go play with the toys and the kids. As soon as the parent walks back in, at the end of the day? A child who was giggling and clapping will suddenly BAWL LIKE A BANSHEE just because Mom/Dad appeared. IT'S ALL A SHOW.
(Not always, but a lot of the time. Remember this, because I know you know it.)
It's an evolutionary selected trait: this kind of performance makes parents feel loved, which strengthens the parents' attachment to the child, and keeps the child fed, clothed, and sheltered by the parent, even though kids can be a pain sometimes.
Hey Marcy! It's Andrea...I'm up with Ella in the wee hours and thought I would take the time to catch up on the Hogans! Tell Zach I say hey!
ReplyDeleteThis post just really rings true with me because I feel like Ryan also struggled with being left anywhere. We tried the gym thing, but I actually gave up because it seemed that he was just not going to calm down.
I have found that as he's gotten older, (he'll be three in April) that he can say goodbye when I go out (when he is with daddy or grandma) without tears or really any heartache at all...a real relief.
It's so much harder for little ones like ours who are around us the whole time. It's sounds like D is doing great.
I am trying to do little mom and me classes with Ryan to expose him to other kids as well because he seems afraid of them! When we are at My Gym, if he is on a piece of equipment and another kid comes towards him, he runs off as if the kid was poison or something. Hopefully preschool will help with that. We may have a rough couple weeks at the beginning next fall. :)
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ReplyDelete