Monday, February 04, 2013

summer plans

The Tuck full-time MBA is a two-year program. Between those academic years is one summer, during which students take a summer intern ship. This internship is important because for most students it is essentially an extended interview that is likely to lead to an offer for a full-time position upon graduation.  Much of your first year is spent trying to acquire a good internship in your desired field/company so that you can then be set for a job after school is done (and have a much less stressful second year). 

When Zach applied to business school, when we decided to attend a school on the East Coast knowing we wanted to then make it back West again, when we packed up and moved, this summer internship weighed on my mind but I willfully ignored it.  It was this abstract thing, and other more pressing matters required attention so I didn't think about it for a long time.  

It's not so abstract now. Zach has accepted an internship with a top-ranked management consulting firm in San Francisco.  I'm gonna take a minute to brag here, folks-- this was a very competitive internship opportunity, one that is highly sought-after, and he got it. I'm not surprised (I wasn't when he got into Tuck either- I know he's a talented badass), but I am damn proud of him for it. This is incredibly awesome and exciting news-- it was Zach's top choice and the firm he has consistently liked the most, and makes it more likely that we'll be able to make it back to the bay area after graduation. 

The down side? It means he goes to San Francisco for 10 weeks over the summer. It makes little sense for the boys and I to pack up and relocate to SF for the summer.  Finding temporary housing in the city for all 4 of us would be difficult and ridiculously expensive, we'd have to figure out what to do with the cats, etc.  Also, I would like to get to enjoy the summer here in New Hampshire-- we're here for such a short time and I doubt we'll ever live out here again, so want to take advantage while we're here. Not to mention that we've made friends here who I already know I will be heartbroken to say good-bye to when the time comes, and yes I'd like to spend an extra couple of months with them. 

Of course, that also means spending 2 months without Zach, with me as the solo parent alone with two young kids. Part of me thinks it'll be fine, we'll get through it and even manage to have some fun and whatever it'll be fine. And then there's that part of me that's screaming HOLY SHIT WOMAN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SIGNING YOURSELF UP FOR. Now that the internship is set, we're focusing on how to get me some support so the boys and I survive the summer.  In the past week I've been finding out about more and more partners and their kids who will also stay behind, so there will be quite a little community of us.  We're recruiting family and friends to visit over the summer, and will also look into trying to hire some regular babysitting/nanny help. 

It will suck royally to be apart from Zach for so long, I know the boys and I will miss him terribly. And yeah, to be honest this whole thing kinda scares the shit out of me.  But I think we'll be ok.  If there's one thing the past few years have taught me it's that things can be incredibly difficult and yet there can still be so much awesome and good in the mix, and I have a feeling this summer will be more of all of that. 


  1. I feel so confident that your last sentence is true, that I don't resonate with your worry. Know you have it,-- it's so natural to be afraid of the unknown (though you have done a jolly fantastic job of getting to know your environment there - people wise and kid-stuff wise.) Part of the problem is your experience with Zach away has been in tough spots - abroad with an infant, and in Sacramento with highly demanding frequently unhappy Q and much less potty-trained D - plus your future up in the air. Now, D's more grown, Q's more settle-able (?) ;) , and Zach and you have done a bang up job of getting ducks and stars to line up the best any of us can in terms of predictable future. NH in summer will be pretty nice I think. And you know you have lots of people (including ME) who'll simply LOVE to hang out and who'll show up sooner or stay longer if there's any need. So hope you can look the monster in the eye and say "you're really not so scary", and enjoy what you've accomplished. Love you!

  2. wow, 10 weeks is a long time. but, if you can keep busy with the kids, have friends over, visit zoos and beaches and whatever, then you will survive. you will find new routines and systems to handle the kids and the home as a solo parent, and you will come out of this as a pro-star! the key for you is to ask for help, so that you can get a break.
    i am offering all of this advice from my own experience of solo parenting for 6 weeks. some nights i had an aunt come and read to the boys so i could shower in peace and have a cuppa tea. i had friends over a lot, just so that i wouldn't go batty without adult conversation!
    good luck! you will do great! trust yourself!

    1. Thanks! I keep thinking of military families who do this for months at a time and thinking if they can do it, surely I can, too... so we'll see. I know we'll make it, obviously, just hope to do so as painlessly as possible...

  3. Well you already know how I feel about all this but I am just so freaking happy for you guys. Im sure you checked but are you positive that family housing wasn't part of his offer? I know all firms are different but some offers are huge and take a while to sift through. I know I just found some new stuff in Ks that I hadn't noticed. Either way time will fly, he will get to focus without guilt - the internship *wil* be rigorous as Im sure you guys know. it might even be harder if you were there because he'd see your faces in the morning and late at night and feel terrible about being away so much. If that makes sense.

    We're rooting for him. You guys are almost there. Tell him to bring it 10000000x harder than he did at his interview at the firm so he gets that offer!

    SO happy for you guys!

    1. Thanks! Zach did make sure to ask about housing (even just for help with finding him an apartment, since that alone will be a hassle) but he's on his own for it. Not sure if that's the company or just tough to do in SF... We have talked, half-jokingly and half-seriously, about how it'll be much easier for him to focus and work most effectively if he doesn't have us around. But, even with the separation it's all pretty exciting. =)

    2. Oh yes it probably has a ton to do with the area. Challenging market. It is exciting and he will kill it :) Im so excited FOR YOU!



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