When Zach applied to business school, when we decided to attend a school on the East Coast knowing we wanted to then make it back West again, when we packed up and moved, this summer internship weighed on my mind but I willfully ignored it. It was this abstract thing, and other more pressing matters required attention so I didn't think about it for a long time.
It's not so abstract now. Zach has accepted an internship with a top-ranked management consulting firm in San Francisco. I'm gonna take a minute to brag here, folks-- this was a very competitive internship opportunity, one that is highly sought-after, and he got it. I'm not surprised (I wasn't when he got into Tuck either- I know he's a talented badass), but I am damn proud of him for it. This is incredibly awesome and exciting news-- it was Zach's top choice and the firm he has consistently liked the most, and makes it more likely that we'll be able to make it back to the bay area after graduation.
The down side? It means he goes to San Francisco for 10 weeks over the summer. It makes little sense for the boys and I to pack up and relocate to SF for the summer. Finding temporary housing in the city for all 4 of us would be difficult and ridiculously expensive, we'd have to figure out what to do with the cats, etc. Also, I would like to get to enjoy the summer here in New Hampshire-- we're here for such a short time and I doubt we'll ever live out here again, so want to take advantage while we're here. Not to mention that we've made friends here who I already know I will be heartbroken to say good-bye to when the time comes, and yes I'd like to spend an extra couple of months with them.
Of course, that also means spending 2 months without Zach, with me as the solo parent alone with two young kids. Part of me thinks it'll be fine, we'll get through it and even manage to have some fun and whatever it'll be fine. And then there's that part of me that's screaming HOLY SHIT WOMAN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SIGNING YOURSELF UP FOR. Now that the internship is set, we're focusing on how to get me some support so the boys and I survive the summer. In the past week I've been finding out about more and more partners and their kids who will also stay behind, so there will be quite a little community of us. We're recruiting family and friends to visit over the summer, and will also look into trying to hire some regular babysitting/nanny help.
It will suck royally to be apart from Zach for so long, I know the boys and I will miss him terribly. And yeah, to be honest this whole thing kinda scares the shit out of me. But I think we'll be ok. If there's one thing the past few years have taught me it's that things can be incredibly difficult and yet there can still be so much awesome and good in the mix, and I have a feeling this summer will be more of all of that.