I'm finding myself looking back through old blog posts a lot lately-- both posts here on this blog, and the monthly letters I wrote to D up to his second birthday. I'm fascinated by this curiosity, this need to look back and see what I was doing and feeling when D was a newborn, and infant, a young toddler. I'm also struck by how glad I am to have this written record, because otherwise I wouldn't remember the vast majority of this stuff. I look back on the joys and frustrations that I felt at all these different points of life as a mother, and it can be a little depressing (yep, I still felt debilitatingly exhausted at X months/years...) but most of all it feels very comforting for some reason. Maybe because I know I managed to survive through it.
(By the way can I mention how adorable and sweet I think it is that Zach has been doing the same thing? I love that he appreciates my blog as much if not more than I do)
I just looked at the calendar to realize that we are exactly halfway through our time here-- we arrived 2 weeks ago today, and fly back to California 2 weeks from now. The trip has been both wonderful and kinda crap. D's sleep always seemed to take a nosedive when we came to visit, and while he's been doing fine (other than a later-than-usual bedtime which is so hard to avoid), Q has taken up suit and is taking his turn to sleep like crap. My mom is almost 3 weeks out from her hip replacement surgery and is healing amazingly (just today got the OK to drive, and may not need to use the cane to walk for too much longer. Modern medicine truly is amazing, y'all), she's not quite able to be the SuperGrandma that she usually is. I know it's been hard on her not to be able to help as much as she wants to. All the other grandparents have been chipping in, too, and they've all been wonderful, and by now things are feeling a lot better. But the first few days (especially the first days after Zach flew back alone), Q went through a serious bought of separation anxiety and just plain refused to be with anyone other than Mama. He would literally start screaming as soon as he realized that I was not right there or that someone else was holding him instead of me, only to stop and smile as soon as I had him back again. He's now getting used to everyone and doing a good bit better most of the time. And let me tell you, when he's happy he is HAPPY! All smiles and giggles and babbles and just the most ridiculously adorable baby ever. As for D, he has his crab-monster moments, too, but has been having a great time hanging out with grandparents, playing with toys and baking cookies and all.
I do miss Zach, a lot. I knew staying her a month would be a bit long, but it was either that or only stay for a few days. As the kids are settling down and getting used to everything and everyone, I'm getting more opportunities to get out and do things on my own (highly appreciated). But, yeah, I think I'll be very ready to get back to California when it's time.
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