Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Mornings with Pam

It's been a couple of weeks now since D started going to Mrs Pam's home 2 mornings a week, and it's going pretty well so far.  Most of the time when I ask him if he likes going to her house, he smiles and says yes.  He'll cry when I leave, but lets her pick him up to wave at me through the window and overall seems very comfortable with her.  It appears he has a good time while he's there, and he's always very happy when I get back and likes to show me some of what he did (while also being quite ready to high-tail it out of there and go back home... lol).

Yesterday morning I was getting us ready to go, and D seemed a bit less enthusiastic.  I asked if he was excited about going to Mrs Pam's, and he said, "No. Stay at Donovan's house?"  He seemed a little out of sorts so I sat down with him a minute and talked about how it must feel sad when mommy leaves, but that I will always come back, and then we'll come back home to Donovan's house afterwards.  He didn't really react to this, but I like to think it sank in a little.  He didn't put up too much of a fight on the way over, and then once inside I could see his little face starting to contort into a cry as he realized what was going to happen... but then he stopped. His lower lip quivered, even as he waved me good-bye, but he didn't cry.

And it's moments like those that tug at my heart because he seems so grown up.  It takes a lot of emotional maturity to say to yourself, "I'm really sad right now, but I'm not going to cry because I know it's going to be ok," and that seemed like exactly what he was thinking.

When I picked him up again a few hours later, I was impressed by two things:

1) He took his jacket off all by himself, for the first time ever.  They had just gotten back from a walk literally minutes before I came to the door, so Pam said he'd still had his jacket on, zipped up and everything, when she came to open the door for me.   Not 2 minutes later when I saw him he had the jacket off, and said to me, "Donovan take jacket off." I saw him do it again later that day, too.  Very cool stuff.

2) Pam said she had let him use a pair of scissors to cut around a piece of paper, and that she'd been very impressed with how well he handled them and how concentrated he was making his small cuts.  She asked if he'd used scissors at home-- no, never. I'd never thought of it, so we don't even have a pair of child-sized scissors yet.  I'd figured he was too young to try it... but I guess not.

If Zach hasn't found a job by the time his notice runs out and the severance kicks in, then we'll cut out D's mornings at Mrs Pam's.  But for now we'll keep it up, partially because her rates are incredibly reasonable; partially for the break it gives me; and partially because of the lesson I learned yesterday with the scissors.  Being in that different environment, with a different adult, means he's getting exposed to different things I wouldn't have thought of, and I think that's a wonderful thing and a great lesson to him (and me) of how much wider his world can be and the breadth of his abilities.


  1. Very amazing how emotionally able to regulate himself Donovan is. And the scissors.... super coordinated.
    Don't think for a minute though that he's missing out on something by spending his time mostly with you. You deserve the breaks, and they can help you enjoy him more, having had a rest or time to do other things in peace. But being with you is how he's gotten equipped to pick up a new thing, like scissors, and just whittle away, figure it out, explore. If he hasn't yet encountered it, doesn't matter. He's gotten his sea legs and can set sail whenever...

  2. Oh, *tear*

    On the whole post.




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