halfway(ish)

I think I can safely say I'm now at about the halfway mark with chemo. I had my 3rd round of chemo on Sept 14, about a week and a half ago, and I'm emerging out of the chemo fatigue and entering my window of "good" time (when I feel closer to a normal human vs one being willingly poisoned) for a bit of time before going in for the next go-round in a little over a week. I've been keeping a log of the side effects each cycle, to look for patterns and help me know what to expect for the next ones to come.

Something I read in my pre-chemo researching was that many of the chemo side-effects can actually lessen with each cycle, but the fatigue tends to be cumulative. So far this is proving true. Whether because of my body adjusting, or just learning what tricks/meds/etc to use to prevent/manage them, some of the side effects that were most bothersome after the first chemo (like the mouth sores that had me eating a diet of smoothies and cold mashed potatoes for a week) have been MUCH milder or not a concern since then, thank goodness.

However, the fatigue has also definitely deepened each time. I'll be pretty wiped out starting from Day 1 (day of chemo infusion) and for the next few days following. It's a deep physical and mental fatigue unlike anything else I have experienced, not even pregnancy tiredness (which I thought had been pretty all-encompassing)... where really all I can do some days is lie in bed and stare at the wall.

There will then be a day when the fatigue lifts-- I can think more clearly, and instead of lying in bed all day I actually feel like getting up and moving about, and don't get totally exhausted from small things like fixing myself a bowl of cereal or taking a shower. It's a damn great feeling, to have energy again.

After the first chemo, that day came on Day 5. With the next cycle, it was Day 7. This last time, it wasn't till Day 10. It's...not an encouraging pattern, given I still have 3 more cycles to go. I thought with each cycle I would have about a week of being laid-up, and then two weeks of feeling more ok, but that balance is shifting and so are some of our plans.

Thankfully my mom's schedule and travel plans are flexible enough that she's able to spend as much time here with us as needed, and we're taking advantage of that, with her being able to stick around longer to give me more time to just rest. Nothing about cancer is convenient or easy, but I have to marvel at how well many things are set up for us having to deal with this. I'm so grateful for my mom's help, and for my boys being the ages they are and being so independent, and just how much support we have that allows me to focus on doing what I need to and knowing everyone else is well taken care of.