Saturday, July 22, 2023

New haircut! Also, I have cancer


When I chose to get "this too shall pass" tattooed on my arm, I didn't realize quite how helpful of a reminder/mantra that bit of ink would prove to be. First, I did it a couple months before covid hit, so there was that. But there have also been many other moments in the past 3 years when I've looked down my arm and caught sight of the tattoo, and remember. And honestly, it really is comforting.
 
I've been leaning heavily on that bit of tattooed wisdom again these past few weeks as I first found a lump in my right breast, then waited for a mammogram and ultrasound, got whisked into a biopsy, and then got the call a week and a half ago (Wednesday, July 12) that yes, indeed, I do have breast cancer.
 
And then there was more waiting to figure out what that would mean for the coming weeks/months/years head. It's a LOT of waiting. The past couple weeks have possibly been the longest of my life.
 
Here's what I know so far: I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC), which is the most common type of breast cancer. So far it looks to be localized (hasn't spread to lymph nodes). It's "triple-positive" which means the cancer cells have hormone receptors for estrogen and progesterone, and produce extra of something called her2 protein (this one is a bit more rare, about 10% of IDC are this subtype). This is a bit of a mixed bag, but one positive is there are great targeted therapies for cancers with those characteristics.
 
I met with my surgeon and oncologist a few days ago (I like them both, and got a kick out of finding out that my surgeon and rheumatologist are friends). The plan for the next few months is that I will start a chemotherapy regimen called TCHP. I'll get the chemo infusions six times, once every 3 weeks. The first infusion will be in a little over a week, and if everything goes according to schedule I'll finish sometime in November.
 
I'm also getting more testing done (MRI, genetic screen, etc) to get a better picture of what we're dealing with, and that will help us figure out what will happen next (eg what kind of surgery options I'll have, and what further kinds of chemo and/or radiation I'll need).
 
How am I doing with all this? That's... a hard question to answer. I'm mostly ok? It's definitely a lot to take in and process. I feel confident about being able to beat this thing, but am not looking forward to a grueling few months/year+ of getting there (since, given the ER/PR status it will mean taking hormone therapy for many years ahead to keep the cancer away once it's gone). I'm really, really grateful for a great network of people who care a whole lot about me and are doing everything they can to support me.
 
It's been a whirlwind of doctor visits, scheduling appointments, researching and taking notes and trying to organize information, and getting stuck by many, many needles. I'm trying to do what I can to prepare for the weeks and months ahead. But I'm also trying to consciously enjoy fun and light things when and where I can.

Hence, this morning getting a fun haircut I've been debating for months but hadn't been brave enough to try... There's nothing quite like knowing you will lose all the hair on your head in a few weeks to prompt you to try something new. 

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