The past couple of months I've noticed that emotional stress seems to be taking a much stronger physical toll than normal. It feels like anytime I have a bad day-- feeling sad, stressed, frustrated, whatever-- my body soon starts feeling run down, tired, ragged, and like I'm getting sick. It's almost like clockwork. I take it as my body reminding me of how much we've gone through over the summer, and that I need to slow down and practice more self-care.
Yesterday was kind of a mixed bag of a day... Some parts were good, like when our neighbors invited us over for tea in the afternoon. The kids all got along pretty well (at least till the end when tiredness began to escalate into tears), and we grownups got to hang out a bit while enjoying the incredibly delicious treats they made. The boys and I dearly miss the amazing friends we had in NH, but it's nice to be making new friends and see potential there.
Other parts of the day, however, were incredibly trying. I went for a long run in the morning which was good, but since I don't go often enough it left me super tired for the rest of the day. And we've been dealing with some stuff with D that hit me really hard yesterday. We're working on it and I think we're taking the right approach, but there's still those nagging voices of doubt in my head and things that just feel really bad when you're in the middle of it. And so then starting last night and for much of today I felt completely wiped and like I was getting sick.
Which got me thinking of the realization above, about how strongly my emotions are affecting my body, and how I'm not the only one who has gone through the emotional wringer the past few months-- Donovan has too, our whole family has. And if I'm still feeling wrung out by it, then he probably is, too, which helps reinforce the need for patience-- with myself, with my kids. That we're all going through a lot. That we each have our own ways of dealing with it. And that time, patience, and love are probably the best medicine. I'm writing this out partially as a reminder for myself, for the nest time I get super frustrated by it all.