A few weeks ago I night-weaned Quinn to see if it would help with his sleep. It actually went pretty easily, so I guess he wasn't really that hungry at night anyway. His sleep had gotten better in some ways.... ironically, however, it's meant that my sleep is actually worse.
He's been sleeping a longer stretch from about bedtime (7-8pm) through till anytime between midnight and 3am. Which is GREAT. Unfortunately I can't seem to get myself to bed before 10 or 11pm. And, he's also now taking longer to get back to sleep when he wakes up. For a little while he seemed to be getting into a "schedule" of waking up around 2am and then sleeping again till 5 (when both kids would be awake for the day), which worked ok. It still means I'm not getting a whole lot of sleep, but at least getting 3-4hour stretches makes a whole world of difference over 1-2 hours at a time.
But this week has been kinda hellacious. He's been waking earlier, more often, and taking longer to fall asleep. Two nights this week he was up from about 2-4am-- would fall asleep easily in my arms while rocking him, but if I tried to set him down or even move at all he'd wake up and start crying. At least the mornings have started improving a bit, too-- D's sleeping in a little longer and staying in his room playing for a bit after waking up, and in turn I've been able to get Quinn to try going back to sleep when he wakes at 5am. It usually means 30mins-1hr of rocking after which he might sleep another 20 minutes in his bed, but I'm hoping it might help "reset" his waking schedule and maybe eventually he'll sleep through till 6 or 6:30 rather than 5am every morning.
But, yeah. End result-- I'm getting very, very little sleep these days. Or at least this past week. To the point where it almost physically hurts. It's also frustrating and a bit scary, as a few times while driving I've been so tired that I can tell my attention isn't as good as it needs to be, and it feels as if I'm at the equivalent of driving drunk.
And what sucks the most is feeling like there's nothing I can do to change any of this. I just have to wait around for Quinn to figure it out and start sleeping better on his own. Sure, I try all sorts of things-- rocking in the chair, nursing lying down to sleep, co-sleeping, not co-sleeping, using a nightlight, leaving the room brighter/darker, using white noise, keeping the room quiet, etc etc etc. At this point I'd be all for trying to do sleep training, except I honestly don't think it'd even work (since the sleep disruptions are closer to morning when the body isn't as tired anyway, so he'd probably just cry for hours and waking D up as well).
Nothing ever stays one way for long, so I'm hopeful that next week will be better. That he might sleep a little longer at a time, that maybe I'll get myself to bed earlier in the evenings. But yeah, it just sucks to be so tired, to feel so frustrated especially in the middle of the night, wondering why in the hell this baby has so much trouble sleeping, having no idea when it will end (D started sleeping through the night at around 1 year, but I've also heard many stories of kids waking frequently well into their second or even third year), and not being able to do a damn thing about it.
I'm so sorry you're functioning with so little sleep. You're right that it is hell and physically painful at times. You're also right to have the perspective that everything changes-not that that is much comfort while you're in the thick of it.
ReplyDeleteHere's to looking back on this time one day grateful that it is over and you made it through together. *holds up giant cup of coffee*
my 20 month old wakes about 4 times a night to nurse and then wakes for the day at 5 am too, recently upped from 6 am and upped from that from 7 am! she gets so tired by 7 -7 30 pm that I find it really not working to try and push her bed time later and I've started forcing myself to stay in bed once I've gotten her asleep so that I sleep instead of doing the million things I do in the evenings. it helps a lot but still it sucks a lot to be woken at 5 am. I'm really reluctant to start trying for #2 until she sleeps independently!
ReplyDeleteI hear you on the uncertainty part of things. If someone could just tell me, you will be getting up X tomes per night for the next Y months it would be so much better than not knowing.
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed it gets easier for you soon.
I can't think of any advice to offer that you haven't already tried, but just wanted to offer my sympathies. I hit that point around six months when Kiarda was up nursing every hour, on the hour, and not really *needing* it. I know that's quite a bit earlier than Q is old, and that you likely wouldn't have considered sleep training so soon. I was going blind from sleep deprivation and was really concerned about driving and functioning at work - and considering a mistake at my job can literally mean the difference of life or death (ah, the subtleties sometimes!), that's a scary place to be.
ReplyDeleteI do feel for you. I hope that Q figures it out soon. Maybe if you do have to resort to sleep training, maybe D would benefit from the white noise machine? :)