tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post7443614271007447148..comments2024-02-18T22:05:54.854-08:00Comments on life is good: bondingMarcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00792375260633790983noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-12922757402307361122008-03-21T01:59:00.000-07:002008-03-21T01:59:00.000-07:00good for you for getting out, and for not scolding...good for you for getting out, and for not scolding yourself for doing so. i think some mom^s feel they "shouldn't" enjoy that, or even shouldn't go out, and won't go! which in the end is bad for the mom, and those at home because you need it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-33465045046566479862008-03-20T15:20:00.000-07:002008-03-20T15:20:00.000-07:00All sounds normal to me! A little time away is goo...All sounds normal to me! A little time away is good for the sanity. It does take time to build a bond. I was not one of those instant bond moms either.Daniellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16291042482677932193noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-79945428321272896862008-03-18T22:01:00.000-07:002008-03-18T22:01:00.000-07:00My two cents would say all these comments are grea...My two cents would say all these comments are great. Marcy, you are a fantastic natural at mothering I believe. Babies need consistency and continuity, but not enmeshment or symbiosis. Staying yourself, with the expanded definition of now being somebody's mommy, means you do both -- remain an individual who exists in your own right (not just because you parent), while "being yourself" now incorporates your need/desire to assure that your child's needs are met. Not all by you-- cause that really can't happen without you neglecting part of your needs, and closing off the baby's chances of learning through and connecting with others. All in balance, and obviously it's a thing that shifts over time. You've spent the first month and a half basically 24/7 with him (pretty usual, given that he's depended on you for his total nutrition and you've needed to figure out how to assure he's feeding and sleeping and pooping and peeing and breathing well, etc. --your constant eye's meant you can reliably note changes, gauge anything wierd, etc. And now you can amplify his "village" to include more than you and Zach and Grandma, and more time with people who aren't you. I agree with Cristina, if you don't have to I wouldn't leave for 3 weeks. He and Zach and his world will benefit from you having some time to shop, sleep, be with friends, etc. Trust yourself. You'll know.<BR/>Love, MomAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-17913973290334523662008-03-18T13:16:00.000-07:002008-03-18T13:16:00.000-07:00Blogger just ate my comment. This makes me angry....Blogger just ate my comment. This makes me angry.<BR/><BR/>The gist:<BR/>I would be worried about you if you did NOT want time alone. It doesn't mean you don't love your baby, it means you are a healthy person and you are still YOU. There's something wrong with women who cannot exist if they are not attached to a child (I'm thinking of a particular family member... can you guess who?)<BR/><BR/>I don't know nothin' about birthin' no babies, but I'd be willing to wager most of this "all-consuming, omg-I've-never-known-love-till-I-had-my-baby type of LOVE" tak is mostly a case of the emperor's new clothes. After all, what else can you say after the other mother said that about her kid?<BR/><BR/>On a slightly related note... we were talking this weekend about the time Mom flew to the US for Marcie's wedding when you were 18 mos. old and was gone for 3 weeks... and when she came back, you didn't remember her. So, the moral of the story: whenever you come back here, bring the baby. At least for the first 2-3 years.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-50830503083224402882008-03-18T12:18:00.000-07:002008-03-18T12:18:00.000-07:00First of all, you are so lucky that you can get aw...First of all, you are so lucky that you can get away from him for a few hours at a time! When Ellie was that small all she wanted to do was nurse all the time and it was impossible to predict when I could be away from her for any length of time (although she blessed us from almost day 1 with sleeping through the night--guess this was the tradeoff). What I would have given for a hot bath without her crying in the background! In any case, enjoy it, mama. You deserve it. The loves grows a little bit each day but it did not hit me all at once either. For the longest time I thought of her as a little creature or space alien. Now that she's a bit more predictable, I just think of her as Ellie :-).KidKatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15178027244239362322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-26989241151862319622008-03-18T07:02:00.000-07:002008-03-18T07:02:00.000-07:00You sound very normal! Our situation was a bit dif...You sound very normal! Our situation was a bit different as A was in NICU for 17 days and I couldn't even hold her til she was 10 days old, so when she did finally come home, I never wanted to leave her. Now, it's a different story ;-). I've had to go away a few times overnight and I really look forward to having the uninterrupted "me" time. All moms need it.Cherisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18309835002251352483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-85582706389336155242008-03-18T04:50:00.000-07:002008-03-18T04:50:00.000-07:00There is a girl in my french class that has a sitt...There is a girl in my french class that has a sitter once or twice a week so she can attend class and have some 'me' time afterwards. Guess you would have to pump though...Mélaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08571402581117429450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-14140958759266067662008-03-17T18:32:00.000-07:002008-03-17T18:32:00.000-07:00I'm a better mom because I enjoy my breaks from my...I'm a better mom because I enjoy my breaks from my kiddo. Its important for my sanity. If she is gone too long, I'll feel a bit lost or as if I've forgotten something.<BR/><BR/>I don't believe in instant bonding and attachment. My love becomes apparent in my fierce protectiveness, my nightmares about what could happen, and the warm fuzzy feelings when we cuddle.Lindseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01533055716012674763noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-48659822075646567362008-03-17T14:55:00.000-07:002008-03-17T14:55:00.000-07:00obviously i know nothing about being a parent, but...obviously i know nothing about being a parent, but i do know that everyone needs a break sometimes. good on you for getting out and getting some "you" time. :)ThatBeeGirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13462548437869526278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-58986448292364666322008-03-17T13:23:00.000-07:002008-03-17T13:23:00.000-07:00You aren't a bad mom at all, I think it is very no...You aren't a bad mom at all, I think it is very normal!<BR/><BR/>Hope you enjoyed your shopping!andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18236354461635531760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-10932877780726087012008-03-17T11:44:00.000-07:002008-03-17T11:44:00.000-07:00I remember the first time I went out without Felix...I remember the first time I went out without Felix (I can't remember how old he was) and I felt so great. Light and free. Still to this day I feel like I have two identities or two modes, mom mode and non-mom mode. I felt pretty intensely bonded to Felix but I also think the first few weeks/months are hard because they are sort of just lumps that eat, sleep, and poop. Completely adorable lumps but ya know, they don't do that much. That is why we get so excited when they start to make noises, smiles, expressions because finally you are getting a little something back. Ya know?<BR/><BR/>Enjoy your alone time! You are a fantastic Mom and it sounds like you are bonding just fine :)Saritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11474223953990958886noreply@blogger.com