Tuesday, October 13, 2009

rainy blahness

Rainy days always seem to make me feel "off."  Especially one like today, the first rainy day of winter, when it hasn't rained in months.  Or certainly not constantly, all day long like this.  The lighting in the house just feels "off" (hate having to turn on the lights, rather than get enough natural light in), and it just throws off my whole sense of the day and time.

I'm wondering if this was why when I later, during D's nap time, read an unfortunate article online, it bothered me so much.  The article itself wasn't too bad-- had both good and bad bits to it, talking about whether mothers are as free to make the "choice" of going to work or staying at home as we make it out to be (one big point they made was realizing that most stay-at-home mothers are actually poor women who can't afford childcare even if they work-- but then they refused to acknowledge that just b/c you can afford childcare, doesn't mean you can afford to then opt out of work).  But, article aside, my biggest mistake here was reading through some of the comments, in which it was basically decided that everything that is wrong in our society can be traced directly back to stay-at-home mothers.  There were some pretty ridiculous statements made that were new to me (we're in a recession because of men who work 80hr jobs, and they only work those jobs b/c their wife stays at home to support them and take care of the kids and IT'S THE WIFE'S FAULT HE WORKS SO MUCH), but most came down to the usual crap about how if you're not bringing home a paycheck (doesn't matter what kind of paycheck-- apparently a job at McDonald's would suffice) you're not making any sort of meaningful contribution to society and are even doing active damage by throwing women back in time 50 years.

Which is the biggest load of bullsh*t.  I could go on and on about WHY it is such crap, but I'll spare you.  At least for today, anyway.

And I usually am pretty good about letting that sort of idiocy roll off my back, but for some reason today it just stuck, and it left me feeling angry and just plain awful.  And it was in the midst of this state of being setting in that D woke up from his nap, a mere 45 minutes after falling asleep, this being the one and only nap he'd take for today.

The following hour or so was not a fun one.

But, after a bit of cooling off and D being in a good enough mood to just play while I vented to Zach on the phone, I felt better and we even made an outing to the Discovery Museum for the afternoon.  Unfortunately I have not been able to locate a single umbrella within our household, and the parking situation at the museum leaves much to be desired (read: long walk in the rain) but at least it wasn't coming down too hard so not a huge deal.  D had a blast playing and exploring, which is what counts.  We even found a super cute frog umbrella at the gift shop.  Yay for silver linings.

In completely unrelated news, I did something kinda silly today.  I signed up to be part of National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo as it's affectionately called by those crazy enough to participate... which I guess now includes me).  The goal is to write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November.  It doesn't have to be good or decent even, just written-- it's an exercise in getting you to just write rather than get bogged down in trying to come up with a fabulous story.  My sister has done every year since 2004 and is a HUGE fan of the program.  Why did I sign up?  I'm not quite sure.  Last time I tried to write fiction was in early high school, when I'd make up these incredibly cheesy short stories.  Do I actually have time to really attempt this?  Not really.  But, it could be fun.  And it could be a fun bonding experience sharing this with my sister.  And, who knows, this could become a new hobby, or maybe just a new creative project to do for a month just to say I tried it.  I'm thinking that instead of a full-on novel I'll try a series of short stories all on the same theme (a la Jhumpa Lahiri, though hopefully less depressing), possibly tying them all together at the very end... if I get that far.  The nice thing about short stories is I should at least have something completed, even if it's nowhere near the official goal.  So, it'll be a fun adventure.  Though as a warning, it may mean slow blogging for November...

EDIT: Realized to day is "Martes 13" aka the Chilean equivalent to Friday the 13 perhaps that's part of why it was not such a great day, either... ; )

6 comments:

  1. I think you're doing a wonderful thing by being a SAHM. Now, don't you feel better? After all, a sister's opinion counts WAY more than a random anonymous butthead, but even then it shouldn't count for that much in your view of the world. :)

    NaNoWriMo should be a thrilling experience. Good for you! Y'all can be each other's accountability partner to keep on task.

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  2. And here I thought feminists, with their hairy armpits and their crazy ideas that women are people and should have the choice to pursue something in live other than being baby factories and organic dishwashers, were the cause of the downfall of society.

    Shouldn't these people get their story straight? I mean, which one of us is to blame? It's clearly women, but which group? The feminists or the SAHMs? (Because, of course, we know those two groups could NEVER overlap!!!)

    In other news, YAY FOR NANO!!! A collection of short stories is totally allowed. So says I.

    And, yeah... when I was signing the papers at the car repair place, I realized it was martes 13. No wonder I got in a wreck. Maybe this one has more power since it's in October, who knows. (The important thing is I have a rental car, so I can still get to Austin.)

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  3. jesshasnothinggoodforlunch11:49 AM

    rainy weather puts me in the pits too. hence the need to leave Geneva. stat.
    it'll pass :)
    people are stupid, haven't you figured that out yet?!

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  4. It is crazy how there is no concept of a woman being able to decide what is best for her family, herself, her individual situation - both sides of the argument want to just fit everyone in the same mold.
    As for the rain, I haven't let myself think about it, b.c if you get hung up on the rain in London, there is no hope. But I'm getting ready to move to Spain and I can't wait to see if my general mood improves!! AND part of my plan is to do NaNoWriMo as well since I'll be in a new place and have lots of time and hopefully some sort of inspiration...will be fun to know you're also typing away madly. :)

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  5. If it helps, I aspire to be a SAHM :).

    If you want to see the other side of it, hang out on Kellymom and read the numerous posts about evil WOHMs who don't care for their kids and the doom of society due to working moms (one recent post was about a number of suicides in a small community that the poster was blaming on WOHMs).

    It's frustrating that people can't just be supportive of women in general, who have no easy task when it comes to motherhood.

    Do what works for your family, and make the most of it! I am counting down the months until I can be a SAHM, despite working many years for a PhD and career. I can't wait to stay home!

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  6. Funny- and when I read certain comments in some bloggs in Switzerland you might think, that only Stay-at-home-mums are real moms and if you decide to work away from home you must be a really bad mother...
    So- don't take these comments too serious and do what you feel is best for you and your family!

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