tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post4846378926815765371..comments2024-02-18T22:05:54.854-08:00Comments on life is good: On Motherhood, Breastfeeding, and GuiltMarcyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00792375260633790983noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-21129407429149811912012-10-15T16:17:54.402-07:002012-10-15T16:17:54.402-07:00I nursed both my children for 16 months and the se...I nursed both my children for 16 months and the second for 18 months. I did it for so many reasons, but also because I didn't want to deal with washing bottles and having to prepare stuff. I felt so much guilt all over with everything and still do. This is the worst of all habits we inherit from I'm not sure who. It was interesting how some people supported, others thought I was crazy. Then with number 2 it was also interesting to see how opinions changed. <br /><br /> I have to admit, I felt more guilt because I was ready to stop nursing long before they were. I kept going, but that's where the guilt came in. Finally, I stopped when I couldn't take it anymore. My kids nursed through the night well past 1 year and not getting sleep just killed me. My kids are also very small so I felt guilty that they were not getting enough from me, but I could not bring myself to give them formula. Who knows what was right or wrong, but I'm glad my pediatricians encouraged me to do what I was and reassured me that they were both just petite like both our families. I heard stories of doctors who pushed for rapid weight gain, and I'm so glad we didn't encounter that.<br />Thanks for your post. It's reassuring there are others who deal with all this guilt.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13478423545844512390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-31161690766816243532010-11-01T16:36:37.524-07:002010-11-01T16:36:37.524-07:00I love this post, have printed it out and hung it ...I love this post, have printed it out and hung it on the wall at work. I'm a lactation nurse at a hospital. I never, ever want to make someone feel bad for their choices. I just want to help those who need and want help. At the same time though, I want to share what I know. It's so hard -a very fine line. Anyway, thanks for writing this and supporting breastfeeding. It makes my heart sing to see this type of boobie love!Reginahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14273644516005784423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-47779223232816581702010-09-01T20:01:38.317-07:002010-09-01T20:01:38.317-07:00Wow I wish I read this post 10 months ago. I on th...Wow I wish I read this post 10 months ago. I on the contrary feel that breast feeding is the norm and it made me so guilty that I only breast feed my baby 1 month. I was a breast feed baby and it seemed the right thing to do, but no one told me about the challenges of breast feeding and I was so alone and so hurt on my breast feeding crusade that I did it for only one month, even today on the shower I was thinking with a 10 month old baby that I was very stupid because I used a drug to make the milk stop coming, I hate my gynecologist I haven't been back since the birth of my child. I felt so alone and still feel so guilty and I have the most perfect and healthy baby girl, and every time some one ask me about breast feeding is a slap on the face because women who breast feed answer like ohh I do believe in breast feeding and if I didn't, they don't know how many tears I cried, how after 20 mins on each breast I pumped for 15 min more, how sore my breast where, how painful it was ALL the time. Some times I consider having another child just to make it right, very stupid indeed. The worst part is that I was the happiest mon the day after I quit bf, and my baby a happy child with a full tummy from enough milk, the sad part is that today I blame my failure on the stress I had in that moment, my marriage was ending with a 15 days old baby I don't know maybe I just wasn't made for bf, who nows. Sorry for the long post, such a sensitive subject and what I want to say is thank you for your post and to the moms out there remind them that they are not alone and that motherhood is many thing one of them breast feeding, not the only one nor the most important, motherhood should be guided by love and that way everything will come into place even the mistakes.Love for your self and your baby.Linanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-85756262236276743842010-08-27T12:50:28.853-07:002010-08-27T12:50:28.853-07:00What a great post!What a great post!Katie https://www.blogger.com/profile/02244710431865019399noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-19095351482293171352010-08-25T10:50:57.907-07:002010-08-25T10:50:57.907-07:00I've shared this on my blog. I hope that'...I've shared this on my blog. I hope that's okay! Let me know if you'd rather I not and I'll take it off. I just LOVE this. It's exactly how I feel. I too have been hesitant to talk about it because of guilt, for I truly respect every parent for doing their best. But I still think we should talk about it so people know how important it is. I think some people decide not to try, or to give up early, because they don't know all the benefits. Anyway thank you for this great post and sharing the video. I'm at http://www.onelittlewindow.blogspot.com if you'd like me to remove my reference to your post.Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14253566469749278009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-55480518699664562522010-08-24T10:40:28.723-07:002010-08-24T10:40:28.723-07:00This really is SO true. I work in an office where ...This really is SO true. I work in an office where we've recently had a little baby boom, and I'm the only one breastfeeding (at 9 months). A few tried and didn't continue for various reasons, and a few didn't try. Every day I feel like I have to censor myself because I don't want to imply that I disapprove of how they are feeding their babies. I don't judge them at all for their choices, but I have heard them talking and exchanging misinformation, and if I speak up, I get a very chilly attitude. It's unmistakeable. <br /><br />I know that I shouldn't do anything to make those moms feel guilty, and I go out of my way not to, but I shouldn't be treated badly either. I don't think I'm better than them, but some of them treat me like I think that way. If I mention nursing, it's not an attack, and I wish it wouldn't be taken that way. <br /><br />So, I've decided that I will simply do my job when I'm there and work to promote BF on a bigger scale outside of the workplace. <br /><br />As for guilt, there sure is no shortage of that as a mother....that's for sure.wendy @ ABCs and Garden Peashttp://abcsandgardenpeas.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-23490752006779857152010-08-24T07:03:27.805-07:002010-08-24T07:03:27.805-07:00I think this is such a huge issue and certainly on...I think this is such a huge issue and certainly one that needs to be better dealt with on so many levels. I stopped breastfeeding because I was told to give my babe formula by my health visitor due to weight loss (I was new and didn't know better so did as I was told! I would know better now!). After that he refused to feed from me but I expressed for 5 and a half months, I am so proud of the determination that took, but I still feel guilty about it all! Guilt that I couldn't feed him and guilt that I didn't express for longer! <br />Guilt and parenting go hand in hand, we will no doubt experience it forever, I can't imagine there is a way to 'fix' the way the breastfeeding issue in particular raises so many anxieties. I always figure mothers will only ever do what they feel is the best thing for their baby, the big problem I see is that there is so much to learn before you have a child and no one specific to teach it to you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6568229.post-66527390390797884512010-08-23T08:54:27.535-07:002010-08-23T08:54:27.535-07:00Since breast feeding was never an option for me, I...Since breast feeding was never an option for me, I let go of the guilt before it even set in. I have not, however, completely let go of the anger I feel towards the few "well-meaning, but misguided women" who berated me when they saw me feeding my babies from a bottle. Even though they did not know me or know why I was bottle-feeding, they felt it their duty to inform me that my "choice" was wrong. I'm just thankful that both babies are too old for it to be an issue any longer!<br /><br />But, of course, I did manage to find other areas to feel guilt. Of course!Global Librarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14829642620261054318noreply@blogger.com